I have been with my GF for a little over a year now. We both have a kinky side to us and have an active sex life. Early on in the relationship, we talked about our kinks and whatnot. She said she was into toys (dildos and vibrators) among other things (porn, spanking, etc). This was music to my ears as i tend to suffer from premature ejaculation and incorporating toys is another way to make sure a girl can get off. So, I offered to go to the nearest adult store and pick out a couple of things. She suggested we could go together one day, but in the meantime, we can use the few she already has.
Well, the one toy she really like getting off on is a big, thick dildo. Usually we would use some toys, she could finish on the dildo and I would have sex with her. I was somewhat intimidated by the size of it (as it is significantly larger and thicker than me) and I’m smaller than average, but, like I said, I’ve got a kinky side and she really seemed to enjoy how big it was. We used this dildo on many occasions. A couple of weeks ago, while drinking I asked her where she got it and if it is a porn star mold. She kind of laughed and deflected. It seemed weird to me so I kept asking. She eventually admitted it is a mold of her ex-boyfriend’s penis.
I was kind of floored. I’ve used toys on partners in the past. And when we broke up, I have thrown them out. Not only did she keep a dildo molded from her ex-boyfriend’s penis, she was having me use it on her to get off. Since she told me this, I have felt humiliated. I asked her why she wouldn’t have thrown it out, but she kept changing the subject and said she didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
I feel like this is a huge violation of trust and respect. I’m embarrassed and don’t know how to deal with the topic. I have rejected he advances once since the talk and a business trip has eaten up some of the time. We will be together this weekend and I am sure sex will be on the radar for her. I’m not sure how I should handle this.