Making the decision to get married is one of the biggest choices you can make in life. While love is crucial, it’s also important that you and your potential spouse align on key areas that will affect your future together. Taking the time to discuss these topics in-depth can reveal any major differences and help you both decide if you are truly compatible for the long-haul. Here are some of the most vital areas couples should be on the same page about before taking the plunge:
Values and Life Goals
Do you both want children? Are spiritual beliefs important or not? Do you have shared ambitions and ideas about what gives life meaning? Understanding each other’s core values and life goals is perhaps the most critical factor. You want assurance you are both working towards the same vision.
Money conflicts are one of the top reasons couples split up. Have transparent conversations about financial styles and habits. Discuss budgets, spending priorities, savings goals, and approaches to investment. The more you see eye-to-eye in the financial realm, the smoother sailing your marriage will be.
Sexual compatibility is vital for most marriages to stand the test of time. Discuss intimacy needs and expectations to make sure you are in alignment in this delicate but important area. Don’t make assumptions. Bring up topics like sex drive, attitudes about monogamy, sexual interests, etc.
Do you both want children? If so, how many and when? What are your views on parenting styles, discipline, and education? Additionally, consider discussing roles with extended family and boundaries.
Navigating extended family can be one of the trickiest parts of married life. Compare perspectives on things like how often you’ll see and interact with family, what obligations you may have towards them, what role they’ll play in major decisions, and other ways they may be involved in your lives.
Dealing with Conflict
Fights and disagreements are inevitable. But the way you handle conflict as a couple makes all the difference. Look at how you each typically deal with arguments. Do you need to cool down alone or talk it out immediately? Can you communicate without escalating? Discuss building a pattern for fighting fairly.
Marriage is an amazing adventure, but also a serious commitment. The more you can confirm fundamental compatibility, the more confident you can feel taking the next step! Discuss these key areas of alignment now to give your partnership the best chance of going the distance.
Future Goals and Aspirations
Where do you both see yourselves in 5, 10, or 20 years? Discuss long-term goals, be it travel, buying a home, or early retirement.
Understand each other’s career goals. Will there be relocations? Long hours? How will household responsibilities be shared if both are working?
Social Life and Recreation
While you don’t need to share every hobby, understanding how each of you likes to relax and socialize is essential. Do you value quiet nights at home or frequent social gatherings? Find a balance that suits both.