Codependency is an unhealthy relationship pattern where one partner relies on the other partner for their self-worth, happiness, and fulfillment. This leads to an imbalanced relationship dynamic. While caring for your partner is healthy, a codependent relationship goes too far. One partner essentially becomes dependent on the other to meet all of their emotional and sometimes even physical needs.
Why Codependent Relationships are Toxic:
- It breeds insecurity and low self-esteem in both partners. You begin to only feel worthy or loved if your partner needs you.
- It leads to controlling and manipulative behaviors as you try to maintain the upper hand in the relationship.
- Resentment builds, as one partner ends up feeling overwhelmed and like they can never do enough.
- Outside relationships and interests fall to the wayside as the focus becomes centered entirely on the codependent partner.
- Emotional intimacy and honesty diminishes. Communication breaks down.
Signs You Are in a Codependent Relationship:
- You look to your partner to make you feel good about yourself and secure. Your mood depends on them.
- You have poor boundaries with your partner and make excuses for their bad behavior.
- You feel responsible for solving your partner’s problems. Their struggles become your own.
- You feel afraid, angry, or abandoned if your partner wants to be independent or spend time apart.
- You stay in the relationship because you feel you need your partner, even if it is unhealthy.
The good news is codependency can be overcome with professional help, strong boundaries, better communication, and by focusing on your own self-growth and fulfillment outside of your partner. Pay attention to signs of an unhealthy codependent bond and seek help before it goes too far. You deserve a relationship where both individuals feel secure, independent, and valued.