1. You are very intelligent and are often right, but you need to learn to relent when you’re not. The goal of an argument isn’t winning, it’s a conclusion.
2. Clean up your damn mess, stop leaving it for me.
3. Your friends are shit and they treat you like shit and they fucking hate me and I hate being forced to hang out with them.
4. Quit drinking everyday, its a poor example too our kids, its draining our accounts, its terrible for your health, and its destroying our marriage… I have told her this, just doesnt stick, and usually causes a fight.
5. Even though I love her, your mom is annoying.Your best friend is very annoying. Your wall of hair in the shower is more gross than me leaving a towel on the floor. .Just because you drive the speed limit does not make you a safe driver and just because I speed a little does not make me a bad driver.
6. Stand up to your family! My wife has been raised to believe that she needs to always support her family with any request, no matter how unreasonable. We’ve gotten into arguments before with her lending money (like, thousands of $$$) to her brother who always has awful “business” ideas.
Recently she said her brother asked for $20k from her Mom to pay back a debt he owed from another failed idea, and if he asked her for a similar amount of money she’d have to take out of her 401(k) to give it to him since we obviously don’t have a spare $20k laying around. WTF. No, we’re not a bank and we’re not financing your brother’s irresponsible decisions.
I feel like I’m crazy but just because someone is family doesn’t mean you have to mortgage your whole future on them.
7. “No….I don’t always want to say a ‘quick hello’ to your mother when she’s on the phone and done talking with you or she’s yapping on so much that you are trying to push her off to ME” Stop that shit. Love you…
8. When I get home from work and spend ten minutes sitting silently in the car before I come inside, that ISNT A PERSONAL SLIGHT AGAINST YOU! That’s part of my routine that existed YEARS before I had any wife or kids at home, even when I lived alone, and it helps me reset my brain energy before fully transitioning from work mode to life mode. And it contributes well to my stress management and mental health and I don’t want to give it up just because you’re too offended to make an effort to see my point of view.
9.You are depressed lately because you stay up super late doom scrolling social media. Quit comparing yourself to them and go to bed at a reasonable hour. You’ll feel better. You’ll quit being too tired for the gym/other activities and then quit being depressed that you didn’t go to the gym/do other activities.
10. When leaving an event/gathering, no need to give a Goodbye Tour, aka having long ass conversations with people when we’re trying to leave. Just say “yo, we’re leaving. Peace.” and call it a fucking day!
11. I feel like you value me only for the material things I provide.
12. You act exactly like the family member that you despise.
13. We are living betond our means so you can impress your friends and relatives, who don’t give a flying fuck.
14. “You need to lose some weight, I’m really worried about the affect it’s going to have on your health.”
15. The kids play you like a piano because they’re smarter than you.