I find myself in a frustrating and disheartening situation with a friend of mine. Over a year ago, I lent him a substantial amount of money – $25,000 to be exact. At the time, he assured me that he would pay me back as soon as he could. I trusted him, as a good friend should, and I believed he would honor his word.
However, as the months have dragged on, I’ve grown increasingly concerned about the repayment of this loan. Every time I gently bring up the subject, he always has an excuse ready. He tells me that he’s dealing with “bills” and that he’s struggling to make ends meet. I understand that life can be challenging at times, and I’ve tried to be patient and understanding.
But recently, I discovered that he had purchased a car. This news hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t help but feel betrayed and upset. If he has the means to buy a car, surely he should be able to start paying me back, even if it’s in small installments. I’ve been there for him as a friend, and I feel like my kindness is being taken for granted.
I’m at my wit’s end and don’t know how to proceed. I value our friendship, but I also feel like I’m being taken advantage of. The money I lent him was a significant sum, and it’s not something I can just write off.
How should I approach this situation without jeopardizing our friendship? I want to believe that he’ll do the right thing, but his actions are speaking louder than his words.
Dear Frustrated Friend,
I hear you, and I understand your frustration. Lending money to friends can be a tricky situation, and it’s even more challenging when a significant amount like $25,000 is involved.
First off, you need to realize that you’ve made a classic mistake. Lending money to friends and family is rarely a good idea, especially when it’s a large amount. It’s a surefire way to strain your relationship and lead to resentment on both sides. I always advise against mixing money and friendship.
However, what’s done is done, and now you need to take action. It’s time to have a serious, no-BS conversation with your friend. You need to sit him down and lay out the facts. Remind him of the agreement you had and the commitment he made to pay you back. Don’t let him off the hook with flimsy excuses about “bare bills.” If he can afford a car, he can start making payments to you.
Now, I want you to be firm but also understanding. Give him a realistic timeline to start repaying the loan, even if it’s in smaller installments. Make it clear that you value your friendship, but you also value your financial well-being. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and hold him accountable.
If he continues to dodge responsibility or make excuses, you may need to consider legal action as a last resort. I know that’s not an ideal situation, but sometimes you have to protect yourself and your finances.
Remember, true friends honor their commitments and don’t take advantage of generosity. If he’s a genuine friend, he’ll step up and do the right thing. If not, well, it might be time to reevaluate the friendship.
In the future, be extremely cautious about lending money to anyone, friends included. Here’s a golden rule when it comes to lending money: never lend money if you wouldn’t be comfortable considering it a gift. There’s always a very real chance you won’t get it back, and you need to be okay with losing that sum.
If you do decide to lend money, always put the terms in writing and have a clear repayment plan. Protect yourself and your hard-earned money.
Stay strong, and don’t let this situation continue to drag on. Take control, have that tough conversation, and move forward.