I love seeing my family everyday, we get along great and I am really happy with my living situation, but I feel societal pressure to move out. My parents are older late 60s/early 70s so they would rather have me there than not.
A few things to consider: I’ve been cooking for myself since I was 15 Do all my own laundry, housework, chores, taxes, bills etc Pay rent, albeit quite quite low I have an above average paying job, and am working hard to progress further I maintain a healthy fitness and diet regime I have many healthy and strong friendships.
When I was in my early 20s I definitely had more of a desire to live alone, but I addressed this by travelling solo. Now that I am older and my parents are older I don’t really have a desire to move out anymore.
I’ve discussed this with them and they enjoy having me here and it isn’t hampering them in anyway.
I’ve considered putting some money into adding a suite into our house so that things aren’t shared but still in the same home.
Is there anything wrong with this?
Dear Late-20s and Living at Home,
There’s nothing inherently wrong with living at home in your late 20s, especially when you have such a healthy, mutually beneficial arrangement with your parents. It sounds like you’re contributing financially, taking care of your own needs, and maintaining your independence in key ways. The fact that you and your parents openly discuss the situation and are happy with it counts for a lot.
The societal pressure you’re feeling is real, but it’s not always right. There’s a pervasive cultural narrative that says adults should live on their own to be truly grown up. But that ignores the many valid reasons someone might live with their parents, like saving money, helping with caregiving, or simply enjoying an multi-generational household.
The key questions to ask yourself are: Is this hindering my development in any way? Is it a choice I’m making freely, not out of fear or avoidance? It doesn’t sound like either of those are the case for you. You’ve shown the ability to travel solo and it seems like you could move out if you wanted to, but are choosing not to for positive reasons.
I do think your idea of adding a suite is worth exploring, as it would give you even more autonomy while still allowing for the family closeness you value. But I wouldn’t put too much stock in what society says you “should” be doing. If you, your parents, and those close to you feel good about your living situation, that’s what matters most.
That said, it’s worth being mindful that dating can be significantly harder when you live with your parents, even if you have your own space. Logistics can be tricky when you want privacy or to host at your place. There may also still be some stigma attached to living at home as an adult, even if it’s unwarranted in your case. It’s an unfortunate reality to consider, though not necessarily a reason to uproot a living situation that’s working well for you.
You can still be a responsible, independent adult without living alone. It sounds like you’ve found an arrangement that works well for your family. There’s no shame in that.