So my wife (36 f) today asks me how much I have in my savings account. We have been together for 6 years and married for one of those years in May. We don’t share bank accounts, her money is hers, and mine is mine. We are sitting cooking dinner in the air fryer when she just out of the blue asks, how much do you have in savings?
For me, it’s not any of her business and I told her that. She is upset that she wanted me to take out money to go to the casino and I said no because I budget and don’t touch savings.
Am I wrong for not telling her how much I have in savings?
Is there anything wrong with this?
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When it comes to your wife asking about your savings, I have to disagree with your approach. You’re married now, and that means your financial lives are intertwined, whether you keep separate bank accounts or not.
It’s not about her “business” versus yours anymore. When you chose to make a lifelong commitment, you also chose to be a team in all aspects of life, including money. Keeping your spouse in the dark about your finances breeds mistrust and can lead to bigger issues down the line.
That doesn’t mean you have to disclose every penny or give her unfettered access to your accounts. But you should be open about your general financial situation, your goals, and your values around money. Saying “it’s none of your business” to a reasonable question from your life partner is a red flag.
Moreover, her request to take money out for the casino points to a potential mismatch in your financial priorities and habits. It’s important to get on the same page about spending, saving, and long-term planning as a couple.
My advice? Sit down with your wife and have an honest, judgment-free conversation about money. Share your perspective on saving and why it’s important to you. Listen to her views and concerns. See if you can come to a shared understanding and create a plan that works for both of you.
Remember, you’re in this together. Being transparent about money is a key part of a strong, healthy marriage. Don’t let your desire for financial privacy come at the cost of your relationship’s wellbeing. It’s time to open up and tackle this as a team.