I’m a 19 year old dude, who’s lately been feeling really bad about my height. I’m just about 5’1 ft and it really makes me insecure about the way I’m perceived by society. I’m fairly buff and I do amateur bantamweight MMA, but I still find myself self-doubting my masculinity.
I sometimes have extreme periods of self-hatred where I trash my room or feel the urge to punch in mirrors that reflect my image. I can’t for the life of me get over my height; I feel that I’m unlovable.
I’ve increasingly been relying on money and alcohol for happiness as they are the only thing that brings semblance of security. I know it’s not healthy, but it’s the only thing that calms me during my mental breakdowns.
I’ve also tried seeing therapists about my problems but I’ve pussied out of all 6 of my meetings; I feel like they’d look down on me or dismiss my issues.
First off, let’s get one thing straight: your height doesn’t define your worth as a man or a human being. Period. End of story. Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of shit and probably projecting their own insecurities onto you.
Life is a giant mess of uncontrollable factors, and your height is just one tiny piece of that chaotic puzzle. You’re 5’1”, and yeah, society can be a dick about things like that, but guess what? You’re also a buff, bantamweight MMA fighter. That’s badass. Seriously, think about it – you’re out there training and fighting, and that takes guts, determination, and a hell of a lot of strength, both physically and mentally.
Now, onto the main issue: self-doubt and insecurity. It’s normal to feel down sometimes, but trashing your room and wanting to punch mirrors? That’s not helping anyone, least of all you. It’s time to channel that anger and frustration into something constructive. You’ve got the discipline from MMA, use it to tackle your mental health too.
Here’s the thing about masculinity – it’s not about how tall you are or how others perceive you. It’s about owning who you are, flaws and all. Being a man isn’t about towering over others; it’s about standing tall in your own skin, no matter what. So, you’re 5’1”. Own it. Wear it like armor. It’s part of what makes you, you.
Money and alcohol might give you a temporary high, but they’re a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. They won’t bring you real happiness or security. You’ve already recognized this, and that’s a crucial step. You know it’s not healthy, so it’s time to find healthier outlets. Your love for MMA is a good start – it’s a great way to vent out the frustration and also keep you disciplined.
And about those therapists – I get it, opening up to someone can feel like you’re exposing your vulnerabilities. But that’s the whole point. Therapy isn’t about being judged; it’s about finding someone to help you navigate through the storm. If you’ve pussied out of 6 meetings, fine. Start with one. And if you don’t like the therapist, find another. This is about you, and it’s worth the effort.
Self-hatred is a dark hole, but here’s the light: the fact that you’re reaching out means you want to climb out of it. That’s strength. That’s masculinity. Start by accepting yourself as you are. Height and all. Look in the mirror and instead of seeing what you lack, see what you’ve got. See the fighter. The determined guy who won’t back down from a challenge.
The bottom line is this: your height doesn’t determine your value as a man. Your character does. Your actions do. The way you treat yourself and others does. Focus on being a good fucking human being and the rest will fall into place.
It won’t be easy, and you’ll have to work at it every single day. But trust me, it’s worth it. You have the power to create an amazing life for yourself, regardless of your height. So stop making bullshit excuses, get your ass in gear, and make it happen.
Keep fighting.