Alright, let’s cut through the bullshit and get real for a minute. If you’re cheating on your spouse, or even considering it, there are some hard truths you need to face about yourself.
And if we’re going to have an honest conversation about infidelity, we need to start by looking at what it reveals about the person doing the cheating.
First and foremost, cheating is a massive breach of trust. When you took those vows, whether in front of an altar, a judge, or just your closest friends and family, you made a promise. A commitment to be faithful, to put your partner first, to have their back no matter what. When you cheat, you shatter that promise into a million pieces.
What does that say about your integrity? About your ability to honor your word? If you’re willing to break the most sacred vow you’ve ever made, what does that mean for all the other promises in your life?
But it’s not just about integrity. Cheating also speaks to a deep selfishness, a prioritization of your own desires over the wellbeing of the person you claim to love. When you sneak around behind your spouse’s back, you’re essentially saying that your wants, your needs, your impulses matter more than their trust, their safety, their emotional security. You’re putting your own gratification above the stability of your family, the sanctity of your shared life. And that’s a pretty clear indicator of where your priorities really lie.
Now, I know what some of you might be thinking. “But my needs aren’t being met in my marriage. I’m not happy, I feel trapped, I’ve tried to talk to my partner but nothing changes.” And look, I’m not saying those feelings aren’t valid. Being in an unfulfilling relationship is a special kind of hell, and it can make even the most loyal person start to fantasize about escape.
But here’s the thing… If you’re at the point where cheating feels like the answer, you’ve already failed. Failed to communicate, failed to set boundaries, failed to either work on the relationship or end it with integrity.
Because the truth is, infidelity is the coward’s way out. It’s an attempt to have your cake and eat it too, to avoid the difficult conversations and uncomfortable decisions that come with either recommitting to your marriage or choosing to leave it. And that avoidance, that fear of confronting the issues head-on? That’s on you. That’s your shit to own and to work through, not an excuse to betray the person you promised to be faithful to.
So if you find yourself tempted to stray, take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself what it is you’re really running from. What conversations are you afraid to have? What changes are you unwilling to make? What parts of yourself are you neglecting or suppressing in your marriage?
Because I can promise you this—cheating will not solve those problems. It will only compound them, adding layers of guilt, shame, and disconnection to an already strained relationship. If you really want to be happy, if you really want to live with integrity and authenticity, you’ve got to do the hard work. You’ve got to face your fears, speak your truth, and be willing to either fully commit to your marriage or walk away with your head held high.
There’s no shortcut, no easy way out. Just the path of self-reflection, honest communication, and courageous action. And it won’t be easy. It will be fucking hard at times. But it’s the only way to build a life and a relationship that aligns with your deepest values, that allows you to look at yourself in the mirror with respect and admiration.
So take a deep breath, summon your strength, and start the conversation. Your marriage, your integrity, and your own self-worth are counting on you.