We’ve all encountered that guy who prides himself on “telling it like it is” and “keeping it real.” He’s quick to share his unfiltered thoughts and opinions, no matter how rude or offensive they may be. When called out on his behavior, he doubles down, insisting that he’s just being honest and that other people are too sensitive or “can’t handle the truth.”
But here’s the thing: there’s a big difference between being authentic and direct versus being a belligerent asshole. The former comes from a place of respect – sharing your perspective honestly but with consideration for others. The latter is about putting people down to prop yourself up. It’s not about truth, it’s about being provocative and getting a rise out of people.
If you find yourself constantly alienating and offending people in the name of “keeping it real,” it’s time for some self-reflection. Chances are, you’re using “honesty” as a cheap excuse to spew negativity without taking responsibility for the impact of your words. Real honesty requires courage, tact, and emotional intelligence. Petty, hurtful comments are just immature BS.
Truly confident, secure people don’t feel the need to constantly assert their dominance by verbally attacking others. They can express themselves directly and debate ideas passionately without resorting to insults and aggression. They understand that the truth and basic human decency aren’t mutually exclusive.
So if you catch yourself pulling the “I’m just telling the truth” card, take a good hard look at your motivations. Are you really trying to have an authentic dialogue, or just looking for an excuse to be a jerk? Does your “honesty” come from a productive place or a destructive one?
There’s already too much hate and hostility in this world. Don’t be part of the problem under the guise of “telling it like it is.” Be part of the solution by communicating consciously, leading with empathy, and yes – keeping it real – but doing so with wisdom and care.