So basically I’m a waitress and the guy, married man in question came to my job and instantly clicked. He’s 8 years older than me and I am in my mid 20s.
We were initially both just getting to know each other, he became one of my regular patrons but nothing went further. I was in a relationship with my child’s father but that has since ended. I came to find out that he was married when I revealed to him that I have a daughter.
We generally chat on his way home from work and when he comes in. We went hunting together this weekend and it was a lot of fun and we’re supposed to meet up today during his lunch break.
Basically, his wife hasn’t been intimate with him in almost a year and I’m an outlet for that. I’m planning to move down south in the coming year and I believe that’s part of the reason I don’t feel bad. I also find it exciting, the thrill of potentially getting caught or having his wife find out and come after me.
I honestly think I’ve been bored lately and that’s why I’m doing this. Is something wrong with me for not rly feeling bad? Am I going to get my own karma one day?
I want to start by acknowledging how challenging it can be to navigate life as a single mother. It takes immense strength and resilience. But I’m concerned that your current actions may be undermining the very foundation you’re trying to build for yourself and your child.
You say you don’t feel bad about this affair because you’re planning to move soon. But the absence of guilt doesn’t justify the behavior. Engaging in a relationship with a married man isn’t just a betrayal of his wife; it’s a betrayal of your own values and self-respect. It sets a troubling example for your daughter of what relationships should look like.
Your excitement at the prospect of getting caught suggests a deep-seated need for attention, even if it’s negative. This pattern of seeking validation through destructive means is a red flag. It’s crucial to examine the root of these impulses. What unmet needs or past traumas might be driving this behavior?
I urge you to shift your focus from this affair to your own personal growth and healing. Seek therapy to work through any underlying issues. Surround yourself with positive influences who uplift and inspire you to be your best self.
Remember, your daughter is watching and learning from your actions. Do you want her to see a mother who settles for scraps of affection from unavailable men? Or do you want to model strength, self-respect, and the pursuit of healthy, fulfilling relationships?
The path ahead may be difficult, but I believe in your capacity to course-correct. You have the power to rewrite this story. Choose the ending that will make your daughter proud and give you both the life you deserve.