We all say we want to grow, evolve, and become better versions of ourselves. We post inspirational quotes on Instagram about stepping outside our comfort zones. We read self-help books claiming to have the secrets to personal transformation.
But here’s the thing: Most of us are full of shit. We say we want to change, but what we really want is to feel like we’re changing while staying essentially the same. We want improvement without discomfort, growth without growing pains.
Real, meaningful change is hard. It’s uncertain and scary. It requires facing your fears, swallowing your pride, and venturing into unknown territory. You have to let go of who you’ve been to become who you want to be. And that shit is terrifying for most people.
This is why so many New Year’s resolutions fail by February. It’s why people stay in dead-end jobs and toxic relationships. Making a real change means enduring an uncomfortable transition period where things might suck for a while before they get better. It’s much easier to just keep doing what you’ve always done.
But easy and comfortable doesn’t lead to growth. You can’t evolve as a person by maintaining the status quo and never pushing your boundaries. The times you stretch yourself, take risks, and tolerate the discomfort of change are the times you grow the most.
So if you genuinely want to grow, buckle up. It won’t be pretty or painless. There will be missteps and backsliding. You’ll have to look at yourself honestly and be willing to change what isn’t working, even if it’s hard. You’ll have to embrace being a novice and looking foolish as you awkwardly test out new ways of being.
But on the other side of all that discomfort is real, earned growth and expansion. You build self-respect by having the courage to change. Life opens up in ways you can’t predict when you dare to step out on a new path, wobbly knees and all. The struggle is what sculpts you into a wiser, stronger, more layered human being.
So the next time you feel yourself retreating from change and back into your familiar old bullshit, remind yourself: This is what growth feels like. It’s not a smooth, linear path, it’s a messy, zigzagging back and forth as you slowly figure it out. Embrace it. Because nothing transformative ever came from comfort zones.