Thirty nine year old guy here. As I look around at my married friends and just the general public where I live I see a lot of people with expensive stuff. I live in a modest suburb in Upstate New York. I do OK. I make around $90,000 a year. I go to sporting events for my brothers kids. These parents all are driving $100K+ Tahoes and Escalades and Land Rovers. Multiple kids in multiple activites. All have nice clothes, expensive shoes… I see it everywhere and I don’t live in a pricey area.
Is everyone living completely beyond their means? Average rent in my area is $2,000 for a two bedroom. Three bedrooms are $2,500+. These new SUV’s are easily $1400 a month. Food, gas, insurance.. how are people affording these items and saving for retirement. I realize we have a culture of “I need it now” but if you do the math most of these families have to have bills exceeding $10K a month. Salaries aren’t rising at speeds of goods increases. Are people just living on credit card balances?
Maybe I’m the poor one here. I have minimal bills, a smaller home I bought years ago. I can’t fathom having to buy something today with high interest rates and cost of goods. Maybe these folks have some sort of money tree I don’t know about. Am i losing it?
I love this question. It’s like you’ve pulled back the curtain on the great American illusion of wealth, and now you’re wondering if you’re the one who’s lost the plot. Let me tell you something: You haven’t lost it. In fact, you might be one of the few who’s actually found it.
First off, let’s address the elephant in the room – or should I say, the Escalade in the driveway. Those $100K+ SUVs? The designer clothes? The kids in every activity under the sun? It’s a classic case of what I call “The Rich Look.” It’s all about appearing wealthy, even if it means going broke in the process.
Now, are all these folks living beyond their means? Probably not all of them, but I’d bet my last dollar that a good chunk of them are. Here’s the dirty little secret: A lot of people are fantastic at looking rich, but terrible at actually being rich. They’re living paycheck to paycheck, maxing out credit cards, and leasing vehicles they can’t afford to impress people they don’t even like.
And you’re right – salaries aren’t keeping pace with the cost of living. So what gives? Well, it’s a cocktail of high-interest debt, leases, and financial decisions that would make any sane financial advisor weep.
But here’s the kicker – you’re not the poor one here. You’re the smart one. You’ve got a smaller home you bought years ago, minimal bills, and you’re questioning this madness instead of joining in. That, my friend, is the foundation of real wealth.
Remember, true wealth isn’t about what you spend – it’s about what you keep. It’s about having the freedom to make choices, not being chained to a lifestyle that requires you to work until you’re 80 just to keep up appearances.
Here’s what I want you to do: Stop comparing yourself to the Joneses. Look, I get it. It’s human nature to look around and measure yourself against others. But let me tell you, this comparison game is a losing battle, and it’s time to quit playing.
Remember that everyone’s financial journey is different. Your coworker might have inherited money, or they might be drowning in debt. That family with the huge house? They might be stressed out of their minds trying to keep up with the payments. You just don’t know, and frankly, it’s none of your business.
Playing the comparison game is a surefire way to make yourself miserable. There will always be someone with more money, a bigger house, or a fancier car. Always. So if you tie your happiness to having what others have, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of dissatisfaction.
Instead, I want you to flip the script. Rather than looking outward, start looking inward. Ask yourself: What do I really want? What does financial success look like for me? Maybe it’s having the freedom to take a sabbatical, or to switch to a lower-paying but more fulfilling career. Maybe it’s being able to retire early, or to travel the world. Whatever it is, that’s what you should be focusing on.
Once you’ve defined your own version of a “rich life,” use that as your yardstick. Measure your progress against your own goals, not against your neighbor’s driveway. Trust me, it’s a lot more satisfying to hit your own targets than to constantly chase someone else’s.
And here’s a little secret: Once you stop caring about keeping up with the Joneses, you’ll find you have a lot more mental energy (and money) to put towards the things that actually matter to you. It’s incredibly liberating.
So, next time you find yourself eyeing that $100K SUV or feeling a pang of envy over someone’s fancy vacation, catch yourself. Remind yourself of your own financial goals. Remember that true wealth is about having options, not obligations.
You’re on the right track. You’re asking the right questions and making smart choices. Keep your eyes on your own financial lane, and I promise you’ll end up way ahead of the pack in the long run. That’s the real winning move in this game.