Something happened between my girlfriend (F25) and I (M24) last week, and I’m trying my best to forget about the situation, but it keeps coming back into my mind and I think I may need some opinions on this situation due to the slight burden it has been for me.
My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and I am very fortunate to visit her every month due to a generous work schedule I have. Last week I landed at her city of residence and met up with her in the evening. As the night carried on, we went back to our place, things got hot and heavy, so naturally we went to the bedroom.
Upon entering the bedroom, my girlfriend points to the light switch on the wall and tells me “turn off the lights”. Not a problem, done. Clothes begin to fall off afterwards, and once she takes her bra off, I close my eyes and begin kissing her chest, and then she tells me “give me some hickeys around my breasts”.
I open my eyes to see where I am in relation to everything, and what I see is the following: four small bruises (bruises?) around her right breast, with one big bruise and one small bruise on her left breast (again, bruises?) I stop what I’m doing and I ask her, “how did those happen?” to which she replies, “oh, didn’t I tell you? I accidentally dropped dumbbells on my chest when I was at the gym a couple of days ago.”
Needless to say, I tried to forget about it in the time being because of the excitement, and we finished lovemaking. A minute passes by, and my girlfriend looks at me and says, “does it bother you what’s on my chest?” and I tell her that yes it does bother me. We throw on some clothes, and we talk about the situation for some minutes. She told me that she was sorry for not letting me know what had happened to her chest, she tells me that yes it’s suspicious what she did and that she felt bad for not telling me she had those on her chest, saying that she thought she had informed me beforehand. She offers me her phone, tells me that I can read any conversation she has and go through all her social media if I would like, claiming that no infidelity happened. She then tells me all the lovey-dovey stuff like “I love you and I’d never do this to you” and “I only want to be with you”, etc.
In that moment, I was thinking it probably was an accident and a giant misconception because: A) she was not hesitant to initiate lovemaking with me, nor was she hesitant to take off her clothes; and B) she offered me all of her social media access and conversations to her phone without hesitation afterwards.
The night goes on, we go to bed, I’m not as bothered by this situation, but as I’m laying in bed, one thing comes across my mind that still doesn’t add up for me: why would she immediately request hickeys all over her chest if she knew she already had bruises all over her chest? Isn’t that odd?
A week later, that’s where I’m still at, trying to figure out why she would request that? I have never given her hickeys immediately at the start of lovemaking, nor has she frequently requested them. This whole situation has me stumped because I want to believe her, but this one little detail is still poking my mind and whispering in my ear “infidelity”. My girlfriend also told me that she stayed the night at one of her girl friend’s house the night before she went to the gym, and that has been something that has been crossing my mind as well.
May there be anything that I am missing pertaining to this situation that could help me answer this question, or give me some clarity? Should this should be investigated further? Or maybe I’m overreacting and thinking too much about the situation?
Oh boy. This is quite a situation you’re in, and I can understand why it’s been weighing on your mind. Let’s unpack this, shall we?
First off, your gut feeling isn’t something to be ignored. That little voice whispering “infidelity”? It’s there for a reason. Not because it’s necessarily right, but because something in this scenario isn’t adding up for you. And you’re not wrong to feel that way.
The dumbbell story is… creative, I’ll give her that. But it’s about as believable as me saying I got these crow’s feet from squinting at the sun while parasailing with dolphins. Accidents happen, sure, but conveniently placed bruises that look suspiciously like hickeys? That’s a tough sell.
Now, her immediate offer to let you go through her phone is interesting. It could be a genuine gesture of transparency, or it could be because she’s already cleaned house, so to speak. The problem is, by the time suspicion arises, a savvy cheater has usually covered their tracks.
But here’s the kicker – her request for you to give her hickeys in the exact same spots. That, my friend, is what we in the advice column biz call a red flag the size of Texas. It’s almost as if she was trying to create a cover story. “See? Those marks are from you!”
You’re absolutely right to question why she’d want hickeys right where she allegedly had bruises. Most people, if they had actual bruises from an accident, wouldn’t be keen on having those areas further marked up. It’s like asking someone to step on your stubbed toe.
Now, I’m not saying she definitely cheated. But I am saying that her story has more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese left out in a mouse hotel.
Here’s what I suggest:
- Trust your instincts. They’re telling you something isn’t right, and they’re probably onto something.
- Have an honest conversation with her. Don’t accuse, but do express your concerns. Her reaction to this conversation could be very telling.
- Keep your eyes open. If this was a one-time slip-up (assuming it was), there shouldn’t be any more suspicious incidents. But if you start noticing a pattern of odd behavior or questionable stories, well…
- Remember that trust is fundamental in any relationship, especially a long-distance one. If you find you can’t trust her, or if she’s not willing to have an open, honest dialogue about this, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.
You’re not overreacting, and you’re not thinking too much about the situation. You’re responding to a very fishy scenario with appropriate skepticism. Don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise.
Remember, you deserve a relationship where you feel secure, respected, and trusted. If this situation has shaken that foundation, it’s worth addressing head-on. Good luck, and may your future be filled with fewer mysterious bruises and more honest communication.