Listen up, because this might sting a little: You need to stop expecting others to match your level of effort in relationships. It’s a recipe for disappointment, frustration, and a whole lot of unnecessary drama.
Here’s the deal: People are different. Shocking, right? We all have our own priorities, energy levels, and ways of showing we care. Just because you’re willing to move mountains for someone doesn’t mean they’re capable of or interested in doing the same for you.
Think about it. How many times have you bent over backward for a friend, partner, or family member, only to feel let down when they didn’t respond in kind? It’s like you’re playing tennis with someone who’s wielding a badminton racket. The game just doesn’t work.
This mismatch doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care about you. It might just mean they express their care differently, or they have other commitments that take precedence. And guess what? That’s okay.
The real problem isn’t their lack of effort. It’s your expectation that they should mirror your actions. This expectation is a one-way ticket to Disappointment City, population: you.
So, what’s the solution? It’s simple, but not easy: Give without expectation. Offer your effort, time, and care because you want to, not because you’re hoping for an equal return on investment. This isn’t Wall Street; it’s life.
Does this mean you should let people walk all over you? Absolutely not. Set boundaries, communicate your needs, and don’t hesitate to walk away from relationships that consistently drain you. But do it because that’s what’s best for you, not because someone failed to meet your arbitrary standards of reciprocity.
Remember, the goal isn’t to find people who will match your effort tit-for-tat. It’s to build relationships with people who bring value to your life in their own unique ways. Sometimes that value might come in forms you didn’t expect or initially appreciate.
So, take a deep breath and let go of those expectations. Give freely, love openly, but don’t keep score. Your relationships – and your stress levels – will thank you for it.
In the end, the only person whose effort you can control is your own. Make it count, but don’t expect the world to play by your rules. Life’s too short for that kind of hassle.