You know that moment when you’re standing in a pool, holding a beach ball, and you decide, Let’s see how far I can push this thing under. You press it down with both hands, feeling it fight back, straining against the water. For a moment, you think you’ve got it under control. Then—BOOM!—the ball rockets out of the water, splashing everyone around you.
That’s exactly what happens when you suppress your emotions. You might think you’re in control, holding them down where no one can see them, but emotions are like that beach ball—they’re not going anywhere. And the longer you suppress them, the more forceful and messy they’ll be when they eventually resurface.
Why We Suppress Emotions
Let’s be real: suppressing emotions can feel like the easier option. You’re overwhelmed, stressed, or just plain embarrassed, and the last thing you want to do is sit with those feelings. Maybe you’ve been told all your life to “suck it up” or “stay strong.” Maybe vulnerability feels like weakness. Or maybe you’re afraid of what might happen if you let the emotions surface.
But here’s the truth: suppressing emotions doesn’t make them disappear—it just buries them. And buried emotions have a way of leaking out in ways you don’t want. That anger you stuffed down last week? It shows up as sarcasm in a meeting. That grief you refused to process? It sneaks out as irritation with your kids. Emotions demand to be felt, and they’ll find a way to get your attention.
The Myth of “Control”
We like to think we’re in control of our emotions, but suppressing them isn’t control—it’s avoidance. True control comes from recognizing your feelings, naming them, and choosing how to respond. When you suppress your emotions, you’re not controlling them; you’re setting yourself up for an explosion.
Think about that beach ball again. The more pressure you apply to keep it underwater, the harder it pushes back. Your emotions work the same way. They’re not just going to sit there quietly. They’re building up energy, waiting for the moment you can’t hold them down anymore. And when that moment comes, they’ll burst out with the force of everything you’ve been avoiding.
Why Letting Emotions Rise Is the Better Choice
Letting emotions rise to the surface might sound terrifying, but it’s the healthiest thing you can do. When you allow yourself to feel, you’re giving your brain and body the chance to process and release the emotion. It’s like letting the beach ball float naturally on the water instead of wrestling it underwater. No force. No struggle. Just letting it be.
This doesn’t mean you have to wallow in your feelings or let them run your life. It means acknowledging them without judgment. When you feel anger, sadness, or shame, take a moment to say, I see you. I feel you. What are you trying to tell me? That simple act of recognition can help defuse the intensity of the emotion.
How to Let Emotions Flow
Here’s the good news: you don’t have to be a therapist or a meditation guru to process your emotions. Here are some simple steps you can take:
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Pause and Acknowledge: When you feel an uncomfortable emotion, resist the urge to shove it down. Instead, pause and name it. This is anger. This is embarrassment. Naming the emotion helps you take control.
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Breathe: Your body reacts to emotions before your brain catches up. Deep, intentional breaths signal to your nervous system that you’re safe and can handle what’s happening.
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Feel It in Your Body: Where do you feel the emotion? Is it a tightness in your chest? A knot in your stomach? Tune into the physical sensation without trying to fix it. This helps your brain process the emotion and move on.
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Express It: Write it down, talk to a trusted friend, or even say it out loud to yourself. When you put your feelings into words, they lose some of their power.
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Let It Pass: Emotions are temporary. They rise, peak, and fade if you let them. Remind yourself: This feeling isn’t forever.
Why This Matters
Suppressing your emotions doesn’t just affect your mental health—it impacts your relationships, your work, and your overall well-being. When you let emotions flow, you free up the energy you were using to hold them down. You become more present, more grounded, and more resilient.
So the next time you feel the urge to suppress an emotion, think about that beach ball. Instead of wrestling it underwater, let it rise. Let it float. And remember: you’re stronger than whatever you’re feeling.
It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. You’ve got this.