Picture someone spending years of their life waiting for a proposal that’s never going to come. Their heart hanging on every “maybe someday” and “we’ll see.” That’s not love – that’s emotional manipulation, plain and simple.
When someone dangles marriage like a carrot on a stick, they’re not just playing with emotions – they’re hijacking someone’s entire life story. They’re asking their partner to put their dreams, their plans, their future on hold for… what? A hollow promise?
Here’s the gut-punch truth: Stringing someone along about marriage is a special kind of cruel because it preys on our deepest human desires for connection, security, and belonging. It’s taking someone’s most vulnerable hopes and treating them like bargaining chips.
And let’s get real about what this does to people:
- It creates a cloud of anxiety that follows them everywhere
- It chips away at their self-worth day by day
- It steals years they could’ve spent finding someone who actually wants what they want
- It plants seeds of doubt that can grow into full-blown trust issues
Now, some folks might say, “But I’m just not ready!” or “I don’t want to hurt them!” Here’s the thing: If you know in your gut that marriage isn’t in the cards, dragging it out only makes the eventual pain worse. It’s like watching someone build their house on quicksand – and you’re the one who knows it’s quicksand.
The solution? Brutal honesty wrapped in kindness:
- Be clear about where you stand on marriage
- Don’t hide behind vague “somedays” and “maybes”
- Respect their timeline enough to let them make informed decisions about their life
- Remember: you can love someone deeply and still not be their forever person
Bottom line: People deserve the dignity of the truth. They deserve the chance to build their life with someone who shares their vision of the future. Don’t be the person who steals that from them because you’re afraid of having hard conversations.
If you’re on the receiving end of this treatment, hear this: You deserve clarity. You deserve someone who’s as excited about building a future with you as you are with them. Don’t let anyone keep you trapped in the waiting room of your own life.
Your future is too precious to spend it chasing maybes.