We often think of confidence as the magical ingredient that leads to success. It’s the stuff of motivational posters and pep talks: “Believe in yourself and you can do anything!” But here’s the truth that doesn’t make it onto the posters: confidence isn’t what gets you started—it’s what you earn along the way.
Think about it. No one wakes up one day with unshakable self-assurance about a skill they’ve never tried before. Confidence doesn’t come pre-packaged with potential or ambition. Instead, it’s built brick by brick, through experience, effort, and—yes—failure.
Action Comes First, Confidence Follows
When you’re about to tackle something new, whether it’s a presentation at work, starting a side hustle, or running your first marathon, the absence of confidence feels like a giant roadblock. You might think, “If only I felt confident, I could crush this.”
But waiting for confidence is like waiting for the perfect weather to start a journey—it’s an excuse to stay put. Instead, you need to start with action, even if it feels clumsy or uncertain. Why? Because action is what creates the proof your brain needs to believe in you.
Every step you take, every small win you notch, builds a track record. And that track record? That’s where confidence comes from. It’s the quiet voice that says, “I’ve done this before, so I can do it again.”
The Myth of “Natural Confidence”
You might look at someone who seems effortlessly self-assured and think, “They’re just born that way.” But dig deeper, and you’ll find that their confidence is rooted in hours of practice, repetition, and trial-and-error.
Take a skilled musician, for example. They don’t walk onto a stage confident because they’re naturally gifted; they’re confident because they’ve played that piece a hundred times in private. Their confidence isn’t innate—it’s earned.
The same principle applies to anything in life. Whether it’s public speaking, cooking, or negotiating a raise, no one starts out confident. They become confident through the grind.
The Confidence Loop
Confidence is less of a state and more of a cycle:
- Action: You try something, even if it feels awkward or uncomfortable.
- Performance: You see how it goes—sometimes you succeed, sometimes you stumble.
- Reflection: You analyze the experience, learn what worked, and adjust.
- Repetition: You do it again, this time with more skill or knowledge.
Each time you repeat this cycle, you strengthen your sense of capability. And the best part? Even if you fail, the very act of trying reinforces that you’re capable of showing up and handling challenges.
Confidence Is Earned, Not Given
The good news about this approach is that confidence becomes accessible to anyone willing to do the work. You don’t need to be a natural or have everything figured out before you start. All you need is the willingness to act despite your self-doubt.
So, if you’re staring at an opportunity and feeling unprepared or underconfident, remind yourself: confidence isn’t the fuel—it’s the reward. Take the leap, and let your future self look back and say, “I’m glad I did that.”
Because every step forward, no matter how small, is a deposit into your confidence bank. And when you look back at all those deposits, you’ll realize that confidence was never the prerequisite—it was the result.