We all have something we want but don’t have yet. Maybe it’s a better job, a stronger relationship, a healthier body, or just a little peace of mind. And we tell ourselves, If I just keep doing what I’m doing, eventually, I’ll get there. But here’s the truth no one likes to say out loud: what got you here won’t get you there.
To have something you’ve never had before, you have to step outside the comfortable little bubble of your routine and take a risk. You have to change—not in a vague, motivational-poster way, but in a messy, uncomfortable, real way.
This sounds simple in theory, but in practice, it’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Why? Because change requires you to confront the unknown, and the unknown is terrifying.
Step One: Define What You Really Want
Before you can get something you’ve never had, you need to figure out what “something” is. Most people skip this step. They say they want to be “successful” or “happy” or “fit,” but they don’t actually define what that looks like.
Do you want a specific job? A specific salary? Do you want to lose 20 pounds? Run a marathon? Find a partner who supports your dreams? Be specific. You can’t chase a target you can’t see.
Step Two: Ask Yourself, “What Am I Not Doing?”
If you’ve wanted something for a long time and you still don’t have it, chances are, there’s a gap between what you say you want and what you’re actually doing. Maybe you’re working hard but in the wrong direction. Or maybe you’re holding back because you’re afraid of failure.
Ask yourself:
- What am I avoiding because it’s uncomfortable or scary?
- What habits or mindsets are keeping me stuck?
- What would I try if I wasn’t afraid of looking stupid?
The answer to those questions is your roadmap.
Step Three: Do the Thing That Scares You
The thing you’re avoiding is usually the thing that will move the needle. If you’ve been trying to get fit but refusing to change your diet, guess what? That’s the problem. If you’ve been dreaming about starting your own business but refusing to take the first step, there’s your answer.
Growth lives on the other side of discomfort. It’s not about being reckless or throwing yourself into the deep end; it’s about taking calculated risks, trying new things, and giving yourself permission to fail.
Step Four: Commit to Consistency
Doing something you’ve never done once isn’t enough. Anyone can go to the gym once or send one networking email. The real challenge is showing up, day after day, even when it’s boring, inconvenient, or hard.
Consistency isn’t glamorous, but it’s the secret sauce of success. It’s what separates the dreamers from the doers.
Step Five: Accept That You’ll Change Along the Way
The process of getting something you’ve never had will change you. It has to. You’ll become more resilient, more resourceful, and more self-aware. You’ll discover things about yourself you didn’t know, and you’ll let go of parts of your identity that no longer serve you.
This can be scary, but it’s also liberating. Because when you finally get what you’ve been chasing, it won’t just be about the thing itself—it’ll be about the person you’ve become along the way.
Final Thoughts
If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done. That’s the hard truth. It means stepping out of your comfort zone, taking risks, and showing up even when it’s uncomfortable.
But here’s the good news: it’s worth it. The life you want isn’t going to hand itself to you, but it’s out there—waiting for you to show up and do the work.
So, ask yourself: what’s the one thing you’ve been avoiding? The one step you’ve been too afraid to take? Start there. Because that’s where your new life begins.