You know the feeling. You text a friend, “We should catch up soon!” They respond, “Yes, definitely!” And then … nothing. Three months pass. Suddenly, it’s a year later, and your main method of communication is liking each other’s Instagram posts.
Hanging out with friends as an adult is hard. Between work, family obligations, and the sheer exhaustion of pretending to have it all together, social plans tend to fall into the “we should” bucket instead of the “we did” bucket.
But there’s a simple trick to making it actually happen: Turn your hangouts into a recurring event.
Why a Recurring Hangout Works
Instead of constantly trying to schedule and reschedule, find a standing thing you do together—same time, same place, no extra effort required. Maybe it’s a Thursday night trivia game, a Sunday morning walk, or a monthly dinner at that one restaurant where nobody needs to look at the menu. The key is to make it automatic.
It’s what keeps book clubs alive. It’s why some people actually do go to the gym regularly. And it’s why your friend group might still exist in 10 years instead of dissolving into a vague LinkedIn connection.
The Best Types of Recurring Hangouts
The beauty of this approach is that it can work for any friend group, no matter the size, interests, or level of effort you’re willing to put in. Some ideas:
- Game Nights: Whether it’s Catan, Monopoly, or a chaotic round of Uno, setting a night for board games is one of the easiest ways to make a hangout a habit. (Bonus: Snacks are required.)
- Dungeons & Dragons (or Any RPG): A weekly or biweekly D&D campaign can keep everyone coming back for more, especially if you have a great DM and a storyline that pulls people in. (And let’s be honest, it’s one of the few ways adults actually role-play problem-solving together.)
- Sports Leagues or Pick-Up Games: Whether it’s joining an amateur basketball league, playing tennis every Sunday, or just kicking around a soccer ball at the park, physical activity + friends = a solid routine.
- Movie Club: Same idea as a book club, but for movies. Pick a film, watch it beforehand (or together), then gather for a post-movie debrief.
- Co-Working Sessions: If you’re constantly canceling plans because of work, why not turn your friend hangout into a work session? Meet at a coffee shop, bring your laptops, and get stuff done together.
- Bar Trivia Nights: There’s a reason trivia nights are popular—no one has to plan anything, and all you have to do is show up. (Plus, winning a free round of drinks never hurts.)
- Cooking Clubs: Rotate who hosts, and each person cooks a dish or brings an ingredient. This way, you get a meal and a social event in one go.
Make It a Rule: No Extra Effort Required
The first few times you set something up, it might feel weird. Maybe only two people show up to the game night at first. Maybe your scheduled coffee chat turns into a 20-minute vent session about work stress. That’s fine! The point is to make it a habit, so it doesn’t rely on someone taking the initiative every single time.
The biggest mistake most people make? Overcomplicating things. Don’t try to plan the perfect event every time. The goal isn’t an elaborate dinner party or an Instagram-worthy outing—it’s consistency. Once you have a standing plan, there’s no “figuring it out” every time. You know what you’re doing, and you just show up.
Friendships Need Maintenance—This Is How You Do It
Friendships, like anything else, need maintenance. But they don’t have to feel like work. A simple, recurring get-together takes the effort out of planning and makes it easier to stay connected.
So, take a look at your friend group. Pick an activity. Pick a time. Put it on the calendar. And most importantly—just show up.