I want you to think back to your childhood—who was the person who made you feel seen? Really seen. Maybe it was a grandparent who lit up when you walked into the room. Maybe it was a coach who believed in you when you didn’t believe in yourself. Or maybe, just maybe, it was your parents.
If that was you, then you won the lottery.
Because at the end of the day, the greatest gift a parent can give their child is the unwavering belief that they are exactly who they are meant to be. That they are worthy, loved, and enough—without conditions, without caveats, and without having to perform for your approval.
Your Kids Aren’t Your Do-Over
Let’s be honest: Parenting is tough. And sometimes, without realizing it, we start molding our kids into who we think they should be instead of embracing who they already are. We push them toward sports because we never made the varsity team. We push them toward straight A’s because we struggled in school. We push them to be outgoing when they’re naturally quiet, or to toughen up when they’re naturally sensitive.
Here’s the thing: Your kids aren’t your second chance at life. They aren’t a walking, talking redemption story for your missed opportunities. They’re their own people, with their own dreams, fears, quirks, and ways of seeing the world.
The more we force them into our expectations, the more they learn that love and acceptance come with strings attached. And that’s a surefire way to make a child grow up feeling like they are never quite enough.
The Power of Saying “I Love You As You Are”
A child who grows up feeling like they are exactly who they’re meant to be doesn’t get there by accident. They get there because their parents were intentional—because their parents put down their own baggage and embraced their child for exactly who they are.
That means saying:
- “I love the way your brain works.”
- “I love how much you feel things.”
- “I love how curious you are.”
- “I love that you take your time with things.”
- “I love that you see the world in a unique way.”
Not “I love you if you win.”
Not “I love you when you behave.”
Not “I love you but I wish you were different.”
Just I love you. Period.
Be the Safe Place
The world is going to spend their entire lives telling them they’re not enough—social media, friends, bosses, magazines, influencers, marketers, the list goes on. The world will tell them they need to be smarter, prettier, tougher, richer, funnier, and better at whatever is trending that week.
Your job is to be the counterweight.
Your job is to be the place where they don’t have to prove anything. Where they can just be. Where they can fail and get back up. Where they can be loud and messy and weird and passionate and unsure and still know they belong.
Because that’s how confidence is built. That’s how resilience is built. That’s how you raise kids who don’t have to spend their whole adult lives healing from their childhood.
And that’s how, one day, your kids will look back and say, “My parents made me feel like I was exactly who I was meant to be.”
And let me tell you—there’s no greater legacy than that.