Let’s cut through the noise—literally.
When you scream at your kid, you’re not teaching them. You’re not leading them. You’re not helping them “learn respect” or “listen the first time.”
What you are doing is having a temper tantrum. Just like they do when they throw themselves on the floor because they can’t have ice cream for breakfast.
But here’s the difference: you’re the adult. You’re supposed to be the safe place, not the storm.
Yelling Is a Symptom, Not a Strategy
You yell because something in you has reached its boiling point. Maybe you’re exhausted. Maybe you feel disrespected. Maybe your own parents screamed at you, and this is just the blueprint you were handed.
But that doesn’t make it right. And it doesn’t make it effective.
Yelling doesn’t build respect. It builds fear.
And fear is not the foundation for a healthy, lifelong relationship with your child.
What They Hear When You Yell
When you scream at your kid, you’re not just raising your voice. You’re raising their stress levels. Their little brains go into fight, flight, or freeze.
They stop listening and start surviving.
So while you might feel like you’re “getting through,” what they’re actually learning is:
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“I can’t trust Dad when he’s mad.”
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“Mom’s love disappears when I mess up.”
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“Big feelings are scary and dangerous.”
Is that the lesson you want to teach?
You Can Be the Adult You Needed
Look, this isn’t about shame. We’ve all lost it. I’ve lost it. Parenting is hard. Being human is hard. But the question is—what are you going to do next?
You get to choose. You can take a breath. You can walk away. You can apologize when you mess up.
And when you do, you’re showing your kids what emotional regulation looks like in real time.
That’s powerful. That’s leadership.
The Bottom Line
If yelling worked, you’d only have to do it once.
But it doesn’t. Because yelling isn’t about your kid’s behavior—it’s about your ability to manage your own.
So if you find yourself screaming more than you’d like, don’t just try harder. Get help. Get rest. Get real.
There’s no shame in asking for support. There’s only heartbreak in pretending you don’t need it.
You don’t have to be a perfect parent.
But your kids need you to be a present one.
Let’s go.