I recently got a decent job and was excited to start saving—but when I got my first paycheck, my mom and stepdad took the cash without telling me. In return, they gave me their broken-down car, which felt more like getting rid of junk than a fair trade. I didn’t argue, just figured I’d start saving with the next check.
Now I have to buy groceries every week or risk being kicked out and losing my ride to work. I’ve been covering that, thinking I could still save a little. But then my mom wanted a new car, didn’t have enough money, and told me I had to cover the difference—or move out. I gave her all my savings and half my next check.
Then groceries jumped from $200 to $600 a week, and one weekend $900 disappeared from my card on stuff we didn’t even need. I can’t talk to her about money—she shuts it down and turns it back on me. And yeah, I’ve been bitter. I’ve been making snide comments out of frustration, and it’s wrecking our relationship. I feel awful about that.
I’ve been working for months and I’m completely broke. I’m tired, sore, and have nothing to show for it. I either keep living like this or move in with my grandparents, who have offered to help. But I feel guilty relying on them and don’t want to damage that relationship either.
I live under their roof, so I know I should contribute—but this isn’t contributing. This is being drained. I feel stuck, lost, and like I’m being forced to choose between financial survival and keeping peace with my mom.
Let me start by saying this plainly: you’re not crazy, you’re not lazy, and you’re not ungrateful. You’re someone trying to build a life, only to find the ground beneath you constantly being pulled out by the very people who should want to see you succeed. That’s not just frustrating—it’s heartbreaking.
You’re in a classic trap: financial abuse disguised as “helping out.” Your mom and stepdad took your first paycheck without your consent. That’s not parenting. That’s theft. They gave you a broken-down car like it was a fair trade and then manipulated you into covering their car purchase with your savings—by threatening your housing and your job stability. That’s not a favor. That’s coercion.
Yes, you live in their house. Yes, contributing is fair. But what’s happening here isn’t contribution—it’s exploitation. The cost of living there is bleeding you dry, financially and emotionally. And let’s be honest: no amount of groceries or money will ever be “enough” for people who see your paycheck as their backup plan.
You’ve tried keeping the peace. You’ve tried not rocking the boat. But now your resentment is leaking out in passive-aggressive jabs you regret, because you still love your mom. You’re not a bad son for being angry. You’re a son who’s tired of being taken advantage of and doesn’t know how to say “enough” without blowing everything up.
Let me offer you this: moving in with your grandparents is not failure. It’s not weakness. It’s a lifeline. They’re offering help, not a trap. Take it. Tell them it’s temporary. Tell them you’re serious about getting on your feet. And then, do exactly that. Build savings. Get reliable transportation. Carve out space to breathe.
As for your mom, there’s a decent chance she’ll be angry. She may give you the silent treatment. But you know what? That’s not the worst thing in the world. Because right now, you’re staying quiet to avoid losing her—and you’re losing yourself in the process. That’s a much higher price.
One day, you may be able to rebuild that relationship. But for now, it’s okay to draw a line—not out of spite, but out of self-respect.
Take the help. Make a plan. And don’t look back with guilt. You’re not the problem here—you’re just finally deciding to stop being the solution to someone else’s irresponsibility.