Caveman Circus

The Most Awesome Men's Entertainment Site On The Internet

Advice Column

“My fiancée wants a pass before our wedding which is just a few weeks away.”

We’ve been together for 4 years now, and it seemed like everything was great and mutual. Yesterday at dinner my soon to be wife brought up the idea of both of us having a free sleep with whoever pass before the wedding. This stupid idea of hers completely blindsided me.

I could tell that she had been thinking about it for some time, and just waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up. She said it would be healthy for our relationship and our marriage would off to a better start because of it. She also claimed it would help get everything out of our systems.

[Read more…] about “My fiancée wants a pass before our wedding which is just a few weeks away.”

“How much of a red flag is it that I’m a 40M and never been in a relationship?”

What if we hit it off, go on a date, and past relationships come up? If I admitted I’ve never really had one—or told a white lie about never being in a long-term relationship—would that be a dealbreaker?

Let’s go further. Say we’ve been dating for a while, things get intimate, and I admit I’ve never done this before. Would that scare you off?

[Read more…] about “How much of a red flag is it that I’m a 40M and never been in a relationship?”

“Is my wife cheating?”

My wife texts male coworkers about non-work things late into the night. She talks about our marriage with them, confides in them, and sometimes meets up with them without telling me. Their messages include things like “xoxo,” kissing emojis, saying they miss each other, and she even calls one of them “hubs.”

When I confront her, she denies anything is going on and avoids even saying their names. She says they’re like annoying brothers, but that doesn’t line up with how she talks to them. I don’t buy the idea of “work spouses.” It feels disrespectful and like something that starts small and turns into flirting without labels.

[Read more…] about “Is my wife cheating?”

“Does anyone else get demotivated seeing 30-year-olds with $500k+ net worths?”

Does anyone else feel totally demoralized when scrolling through Reddit or FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) forums and seeing 30-year-olds with $500k+ net worths? It’s like everywhere I look, someone my age (or younger!) is either a high-earning software engineer or a genius investor who bought Amazon at $3 and has been maxing out every retirement account since birth. Meanwhile, I’m here just trying to make sure I don’t accidentally pay my electric bill late again.

[Read more…] about “Does anyone else get demotivated seeing 30-year-olds with $500k+ net worths?”

“I cheated on my husband”

I’ve been with my husband since junior high, almost 20 years, and we have kids together.

I had a rough childhood and very low self-esteem. When I was younger, that came out as controlling behavior and anger. I don’t even know why he stayed with me back then.

As I got older, I changed a lot, but he never really showed me much romantic attention. I started looking for validation elsewhere. Before we got married, I had a sexual situation with a coworker and told my husband. He stayed, we got married, and I got pregnant.

[Read more…] about “I cheated on my husband”

“I’m going to be alone forever”

I’m 31 and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never had sex, never kissed anyone, and never even been on a date. I don’t think I’m attractive enough for a woman to approach me, so the only way anything would happen is if I made the first move.

But I won’t. I have social anxiety, and the thought of being judged or making someone uncomfortable feels unbearable. I don’t think I’ll ever get past that.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t even seem to make friends online. People I talk to just forget about me. It makes me feel invisible.

At this point, I just hate myself.

[Read more…] about “I’m going to be alone forever”

“My wife thinks we’re soulmates”

I’ve been with my wife for nine years and married for six. She’s kind, loyal, sweet, and smart. She loves me deeply and believes we were meant to find each other. I treat her well. I’ve never cheated. We laugh together, and on paper, we look like a perfect couple.

But if I’m honest, I’ve never been in love with her.

I care about her, but when we met, I was heartbroken. She came into my life when I needed stability and comfort, and I confused that with love. I kept telling myself my feelings would grow, but they never did.

[Read more…] about “My wife thinks we’re soulmates”

“My husband’s family won’t help us financially”

I’m married, and my husband is the youngest in his family. Recently, my parents generously gave us 600k to help buy a home, and I’m really grateful. In our culture, it’s common for both families to contribute, so there’s usually a sense of balance.

Because of that, my parents hoped my husband’s family might contribute around 200 to 300k, especially since my husband will also be on the title. They felt this would create fairness and also protect me.

When this came up, my father in law told me directly that he doesn’t have money for retirement and that I shouldn’t ask him for money. His tone felt harsh and dismissive, which hurt.

[Read more…] about “My husband’s family won’t help us financially”

“Found out my wife was grinding on men during girls night out”

I’m a 37 year old man and my wife is 33. We just had our youngest son about 4 months ago, and things have been overwhelming with four kids.

My wife asked if she could go out with her friends to get a break from the responsibility, and I said yes. I think it’s important for both of us to have a life outside of parenting. I’ve gone out with friends too.

She’s gone out about four times since then, and I didn’t think anything of it until recently. After her last night out, a friend told me he’s seen her out the past two weekends grinding and dancing on other men.

[Read more…] about “Found out my wife was grinding on men during girls night out”

“How can I save my marriage”

My husband and I (40f) have been together since high school. Everything was great, but around year 8 I cheated. I got really drunk one night with coworkers and cheated. I felt horrible about it and lost a lot of weight from the guilt while hiding it. A couple months later he found out. He chose to forgive me and we worked through it.

We got married and I truly believed I would never put myself in that position again. But this year he found out I was having an affair. There was a lot going on in my personal family life, and instead of coping properly I looked for validation outside my marriage. I regret it deeply.

[Read more…] about “How can I save my marriage”

Skip to content