My wife has a temper problem. Only gotten worse after our second baby was born. We have been married for a long time.. And have two kids. She can get worked up over trivial things and end in screaming, slamming doors etc breaking things including furniture. Throwing my clothes on the floor.
She has never accepted responsibility or apologized for this behavior and any suggestion she had such a problem and to seek help will only end up in another screaming situation.
I probably should have left her long ago. It’s not always been bad though. We have two kids and a mortgage.. And I don’t know what to do.
You are in an emotionally abusive relationship, and it’s not going to get better unless something drastically changes.
Your wife doesn’t just have a “temper.” She’s weaponizing her emotions, breaking things, screaming at you, throwing your belongings—this isn’t just stress or postpartum or being overwhelmed. This is a pattern of emotional volatility and abuse. And if you’re staying silent and walking on eggshells to avoid another blow-up, then brother, you’re living in fear—not in a marriage.
Now let me say this clearly: your kids are watching all of this. They are breathing in this chaos like oxygen. And whether you realize it or not, this will shape them. You don’t want to raise your son to think this is how a man should be treated, and you sure as hell don’t want your daughter thinking this is how she should treat people.
You say she won’t take responsibility. That’s not surprising—people who are spinning out of control often double down when confronted. But her refusal to get help doesn’t mean you sit still and take it. You have kids. You have a life. You have dignity. And right now, all of that is on fire.
So here’s what you need to do:
1. Protect your children. First and always. If there’s yelling, slamming, and physical destruction going on, your home is not safe. Document everything. Quietly talk to a lawyer. Talk to a counselor. This isn’t about revenge or punishment—it’s about clarity.
2. Get help for you. You’ve been absorbing this madness for a long time. You need to sit with a trusted counselor, pastor, or therapist and start untangling the knots in your own heart. You’re not weak for needing help—you’re wise for seeking it.
3. Decide what kind of man—and father—you want to be. You already said it: “I probably should have left a long time ago.” That voice inside you isn’t trying to break up your family—it’s trying to save your soul.
Listen, I’m not going to tell you whether to leave or stay—but I will tell you this: if nothing changes, this story ends badly. For you, for your kids, and even for her. So if you want a different ending, you’ve got to write a different chapter.
You are not crazy. You are not weak. You are not alone.
But you are responsible for what happens next