I found my coworker’s wife on Tinder. I wasn’t looking for her, but there she was—clearly active and using the app. Now I’m stuck. Part of me feels like I should tell him, but another part of me is nervous about how it might blow back on me or disrupt things at work. I don’t want to stir drama, but I also don’t want to sit on something like this. What should I do?
You stumbled on something uncomfortable—but it doesn’t automatically mean it’s your responsibility to fix it.
Yes, you saw your coworker’s wife on Tinder. Yes, it might mean something’s going on. But here’s the deal: you don’t know the full story. Maybe they’re separated. Maybe they have an open relationship. Maybe her profile is old and inactive. Or maybe, yes, she’s doing something shady. The point is—you don’t know.
And stepping into someone else’s marriage with half the facts? That’s risky. You could blow up his world, damage your working relationship, or get caught in the middle of something messy that was never yours to hold.
So unless this man is your close friend—someone you have a deep personal bond with—this is one of those times where discretion is the wiser choice. You’re not a detective. You’re not his therapist. You’re his coworker. And that boundary matters.
If he asks, be honest. If he doesn’t, let it go. Carrying around the burden of someone else’s marriage isn’t your job. Protect your peace. Respect their privacy. And stay focused on your own lane—because that’s where your power and clarity live.