I recently started a new relationship, and things are going well—we’re still in the early stages, but there’s real potential here. The complication? I still have a huge collection of photos from my previous relationship. My ex and I were together for six years, and we traveled a lot, so I’ve got around 20,000 photos scattered across my phone, laptop, and hard drives.
I’m not hung up on my ex, and I don’t want her back. But the photos still pop up now and then, and when they do, it stirs up old emotions. I haven’t told my new partner about them, and I’m wondering if keeping them is disrespectful or just part of my past. Part of me feels guilty, but another part doesn’t want to erase that chapter of my life entirely.
Should I delete them? Or is there a better way to handle it now that I’m moving forward with someone new?
It’s totally natural to feel conflicted. You’re beginning something new and hopeful, yet there’s a digital archive of your past sitting quietly across your devices. The question isn’t really about the photos—it’s about what they mean to you now and how they might affect your future.
You don’t owe anyone a clean slate, but you do owe your new relationship honesty and intention. Keeping those photos doesn’t automatically mean you’re stuck in the past, but if they still trigger emotional responses or cause you to hesitate about sharing their existence, it’s worth paying attention to that discomfort.
Here’s a middle ground: archive them. Move them to a private, external drive or cloud folder—out of reach and out of sight. You don’t need to delete the memories entirely, but you also don’t need them living among your daily life, where they might unintentionally cast shadows on what you’re building now.
Most importantly, have an honest conversation with your new partner when the time feels right. Trust is stronger when it’s built on openness, not secrecy. If this relationship has real promise, it deserves a space that isn’t silently competing with the past.
Your past helped shape you—but your present deserves your full presence.