I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now and I love her a lot, but I don’t think I can see us getting married. I would love to get married but I just don’t think she’s the one.
We have lots of good times but we also argue a lot. We have different core values which doesn’t help cause I feel like I can never voice my public opinion to her. I also like to have a life of my own sometimes, but it feels like she always has to be next to me.
She’s very stubborn and ALWAYS argues over something stupid which is really getting to me. I feel like things always have to be done her way instead of us working together on things or occasionally letting me have my way.
I’ve constantly brought up problems that I have with her and she claims she’s trying to fix them but even after a couple years nothing has changed much.
Now I do have great times with her and I love her a lot, but I just don’t know if i could ever marry her. I would appreciate some advice and some input on whether I should try sticking it out with her.
When you start picturing your future and you don’t see her in it, that’s not just some passing thought—it’s your body and mind screaming at you that something isn’t right. You can love someone and still know, deep down, that they’re not your person. That’s not betrayal. That’s reality. It doesn’t make you a bad guy or her a bad partner—it just means you two aren’t a fit for a lifetime together.
You say you want marriage, but you don’t want it with her. That’s all you need to know, brother. Marriage is too big, too hard, and too sacred to go into with anything less than a full-body, full-heart YES. And “I love her, but I’m not sure”—that’s not a yes. That’s settling. And let me tell you, settling will eat you alive from the inside out.
You’ve brought up your concerns. You’ve tried to talk, to adjust, to fix. You’ve asked for space, for teamwork, for real change—and you haven’t gotten it. Years in, and you’re still in the same fights. That’s not just “the way relationships go.” That’s two people grinding their gears trying to force something to work that just doesn’t.
You deserve to have a voice in your own life, to live according to your values, to feel respected, to be able to breathe. She deserves the same. If you can’t give that to each other, you owe it to both of you to face the truth.
This isn’t about sticking it out and hoping things magically get better. It’s about making the hardest, bravest decision you’ve ever made—walking away, not because you don’t love her, but because you love yourself and you love her enough not to lie about what’s real.
It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna feel like you’re tearing out a part of yourself. But the pain of honesty is a thousand times better than the slow, soul-killing pain of staying in the wrong story. Let her go. Let yourself go. Give both of you the chance to find what you really want and need.
You only get one life. Don’t spend it wishing you’d had the guts to choose something different