I (28M) wasn’t invited to my best friend’s (28M) wedding, even though I was one of the first people he told about his proposal. We’ve always been close—trips, golf, daily workouts, group chats—and there’s never been any drama. Our friend group is five people; everyone else got invited except me, even though the guest list is 150 and includes some people they barely know.
I only found out last week when I asked if I could bring my girlfriend, and he said I was on a “waiting list” and didn’t make the cut. He looked embarrassed and said he didn’t think it would matter to me. I tried to play it off, but honestly, I was hurt. I left our group chat, and everyone was shocked I wasn’t invited—they thought I’d be a groomsman.
My friend is still texting me like nothing happened, but I’ve been avoiding him. I already paid for the bachelor party Airbnb, assuming I was included. Now I’m left wondering: Should I just move on from this group, or try to act like nothing happened? We were really close, so this stings.
This sucks. It hurts when the people you trust—your “inner circle”—leave you out, especially without an honest explanation. You’re not crazy for feeling blindsided and hurt. That’s what happens when someone you care about moves you from the “brother” list to the “afterthought” list without so much as a warning.
Now, here’s where you’ve got to get honest with yourself: This isn’t about a wedding invitation. It’s about trust, respect, and whether you’re actually valued in these relationships. If your best friend—someone you’ve traveled with, confided in, sweated with at the gym—didn’t think it was “important” for you to be at the biggest event in his life, that says a lot. It says everything.
I know it feels tempting to ghost the whole group, shut it down, and walk away. And maybe that’s the right call. But before you do anything, you need to have one real, hard conversation with your friend. Call him, meet him face-to-face, and tell him exactly how this made you feel. No passive-aggressive texts, no avoidance, just lay it out: “I feel hurt and betrayed. I thought I was your friend, and not being invited really messed with me. What’s going on?”
Give him a chance to answer—maybe there’s something you don’t know. Maybe there’s more to the story. Or maybe he’s just not the friend you thought he was. Either way, you’ll get clarity.
Bottom line: You deserve friends who show up for you, not just when it’s convenient, but when it matters. If these guys can’t do that, then you’re better off finding your people elsewhere. Life’s too short to chase people who don’t see your value.
Feel it, grieve it, then make the next best choice for you.