I am a F (39) who became pregnant in my last relationship due to birth control failure. That relationship has since ended, and I am ready to enter the dating scene again. I’m not getting any younger, after all! And admittedly it would be nice to not go through this pregnancy and new baby phase alone.
I just don’t know if there’s any point in putting myself out there while I’m still pregnant… should I wait until after the baby is born and recovery is finished? Or would you date a woman who was already pregnant when you met?
Any advice or feedback is much appreciated! For info, I just started my last trimester (with a boy) if it’s relevant, and I have 3 older children from a previous marriage F(15), F(13), and F(5). So I would obviously only be dating someone who was ok with children in the first place.
Listen, here’s the deal – you’re asking the wrong question.
The question isn’t “Will someone date me while I’m pregnant?” The question is: “Am I emotionally and logistically ready to bring another person into this chaos?”
You just got out of a relationship. You’re about to have your fourth kid. You’ve got teenagers and a 5-year-old. You’re in your third trimester. Your life is about to get turned completely upside down in about 12 weeks.
And you want to add dating to this mix?
No. Full stop.
Here’s what you need to do: Focus on you and these four kids. Get through this birth. Get through the sleepless nights and the adjustment period. Let your body heal. Let your heart heal from this last relationship. Figure out what your new normal looks like as a single mom of four.
THEN – maybe in a year, maybe 18 months – when you’re not running on fumes and baby hormones, when you’ve got some semblance of routine, when you know who you are in this new season – THEN you think about dating.
You said it yourself – you don’t want to go through this alone. But bringing some random dude into this situation isn’t going to fix that loneliness. It’s going to complicate everything.
Build your support network. Lean on family and friends. Get connected to other single moms. But don’t try to fill that void with a romantic relationship right now.
You and these kids deserve better than that. Take care of yourself first.