I’ve been seeing a married man for the past six months. I’m completely in love with him, and he says he feels the same way about me. During the week, we’re together in the same city and everything feels perfect.
But on the weekends, he travels to another city to be with his wife. Even then, he calls me, sends pictures, and stays in touch throughout the day. His kids are grown and independent, so there aren’t any obligations keeping him there.
Lately, I keep wondering if he’s going to end this double life and finally choose to be with me. I feel disgusted by the situation because I’ve always been strongly against cheating, but I’m so in love that I feel powerless to stop. Deep down, I hope this tug-of-war between my heart and my conscience will end soon.
You’re asking if he’ll leave his wife for you, if this double life will end, if your heart and mind will finally agree. Let’s get real: You’re dating a married man. That’s not “romance,” it’s a landmine. You already know it’s wrong, you said it yourself—you’re disgusted. But love isn’t supposed to make you feel like you need to hide in the shadows or settle for half of someone’s attention. Right now, you’re living off scraps of someone else’s life and calling it a feast.
You say you’re firm about cheating, but your actions are screaming the opposite. Don’t fool yourself. It’s easy to talk about values when everything’s hypothetical, but what you do—especially when it’s hard—reveals who you actually are. The truth is, he isn’t leaving his wife. If he wanted to, he would have already. Grown adults make choices every single day. He’s making his. And every day you stay, you’re making yours.
You want the conflict to stop? Here’s the harsh truth: it won’t as long as you’re living out of alignment with your own integrity. You’ll keep feeling anxious, gross, torn in half, because your life is a tug-of-war between what you believe and what you’re allowing. You can’t get peace while you’re breaking your own rules.
If you want to respect yourself, if you want a real shot at a healthy relationship—one that isn’t built on secrecy, betrayal, and broken trust—you need to walk away. Not tomorrow, not “after one more talk,” but now. Block his number. Tell someone you trust what’s really going on. Hold yourself accountable. You deserve a love that doesn’t come at the expense of your self-respect. You deserve a relationship you can talk about in the daylight—not one you have to keep in the dark.
This is the moment you decide who you are. Stop waiting for him to make a move. Make yours.