We all want life to feel good. That’s why we’re glued to our screens, endlessly scrolling or gaming, soaking up those tiny hits of pleasure like a dry sponge dropped in a bucket. It’s not because you’re weak. It’s because your brain is built to chase rewards—and modern tech companies have figured out how to deliver those rewards faster, easier, and in more concentrated doses than anything you’ll ever get from the real world.
But here’s the catch: The easier the reward, the more it trains your brain to expect more with less effort. Social media and video games are basically dopamine vending machines. One swipe, one like, one victory, and you get that sweet, sweet rush of accomplishment or belonging—without having to really do anything hard.
The “Sink or Mountain” Problem
Let’s use an analogy from the video: Imagine you’re thirsty, and you can either walk two feet to the kitchen sink or hike 15 miles up a mountain for water. Which do you choose? Of course, you take the sink—your brain is wired to pick the easy win.
That’s why social media is so addicting. It gives you instant rewards, while real-life achievements—writing a book, building a business, making a real friend—are slow, full of setbacks, and frankly, kind of a pain in the ass at first.
The Dopamine Trap
Every time you pick the easy win, your brain gets a little lazier. The reward circuit says, “Hey, why bother with the mountain? The sink is right here!” Over time, this erodes your motivation to chase bigger, more meaningful goals. That’s why it feels impossible to want to do the hard stuff, even when you know you should.
Rewiring Your Reward System
Here’s the good news: You can retrain your brain to crave effort and real achievement, but it takes some discomfort up front. Here’s how:
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Delay the Easy Dopamine: Don’t reach for your phone first thing in the morning. Give yourself an hour or two to do something productive, creative, or social before you touch a screen.
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Do Something Hard—First: Early in the day, tackle a task that’s meaningful but not instantly rewarding. This could be exercise, reading, or working on a project. Your brain is most “dopamine-rich” in the morning, so use that reserve to reinforce positive habits.
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Lower Your Expectations (At First): Real-world rewards will feel underwhelming compared to a viral post or a game win. Stick with it. The payoff grows as your brain recalibrates.
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Track Small Wins: Write down every time you push through discomfort and do something worthwhile. Over time, this builds momentum—and your brain starts to crave these wins.
The Takeaway
The more you settle for easy rewards, the harder it gets to do anything meaningful. But if you train yourself—bit by bit—to delay the instant gratification and put effort into real life, you’ll slowly want those bigger, harder wins. It’s not about cutting off dopamine or quitting screens cold turkey. It’s about teaching your brain to value the real stuff again.
Start small. Stick with it. You’ll be shocked how quickly the things you “should” do start to become the things you want to do.