I’m short, I have been specifically told that I was too short to date multiple times. I’m fairly average in looks but I am short. The vast majority of girls won’t date a short guy unfortunately, all I’ve heard from girls is “tall dark and handsome” I’ve never met a girl who preferred to date short guys and only met a couple who didn’t mind.
Being short is one of the most unattractive traits a guy can have and people will always remind you of that with jokes, insults, mocking and condescending comments. Dating as a short guy is almost impossible, I just give up.
Hey man, thanks for being honest and laying it out there. I’m not going to blow smoke or hit you with some empty “just be confident and it’ll all work out!” pep talk. You’ve been hit with something that cuts deep—a wound a lot of men feel but most don’t have the guts to say out loud.
Let’s get it on the table: You can’t change your height. You know that. I know that. And, yeah, some people—sometimes the whole culture—can be relentlessly cruel about it. I’m sorry. That sucks. The world can be shallow and unkind, especially in the dating world where surface-level preferences get amplified and weaponized.
But here’s the deal, and I need you to hear this: You are not your height. You’re a whole, complicated, worthwhile human being. The value you bring into someone’s life—the way you make people feel, the kind of friend you are, the way you show up, the work you put into yourself, your humor, your curiosity, your dreams, your ability to listen, your kindness—all that is what actually matters. Maybe not to everyone, and maybe not to some people who are stuck on the outside packaging, but to the people who matter—it’s everything.
You’ve been told, directly and indirectly, over and over, that you’re “less than” because of something you can’t control. And, man, over time, if you hear that lie enough, you start to believe it. It seeps into your bones and you begin to look at yourself through the lens of other people’s shallow opinions. You start sitting out your own life because you assume the outcome. You give up before you even step on the field.
And that’s where I want to challenge you, brother. Giving up isn’t the answer. Giving up is you letting other people’s voices drown out your own. It’s you surrendering your agency, your worth, your future, to a bunch of people who don’t even know you—people who, by the way, are wrestling with their own insecurities and probably acting out of fear and groupthink.
Look, you’re right: some people are never going to get past your height. Okay. Not everyone is for you, and you’re not for everyone. That’s a fact of life—height or no height. But some people will. Not out of charity. Not because they “settled.” But because they see you, the real you, and they want that in their lives.
But you’ve got to show up for yourself first. You’ve got to stop internalizing this nonsense and start living for real. Find things you love. Get strong—mentally, physically, emotionally. Take care of your body, your mind, your community. Learn to look people in the eye and hold your head up, not because you’re faking confidence, but because you’re grounded in who you are. And when you show up as the man you are, not apologizing, not trying to shrink or make yourself invisible, but living fully—people notice. The right ones do, anyway.
Dating’s hard for everyone—no matter what social media wants you to believe. Everyone’s dealing with rejection, fear, awkwardness, and their own version of “not enough.” But the game changes when you stop seeing yourself as a victim and start owning your life.
I won’t promise you some Hollywood ending, and I won’t insult you with wishful thinking. But I will tell you this: you’re not alone, and it’s not over. Not unless you decide it is.
You can either let this story—the one others handed you—define you for the rest of your life, or you can write your own. I hope you pick up the pen.
You matter, my friend. Not because of how tall you are, but because you’re you. Don’t let the world convince you otherwise.