You don’t join a cult. Not really. You don’t wake up one day and say, “You know what sounds good? Renouncing my identity, surrendering my bank account, and apologizing to a charismatic stranger for having a favorite color.”
What happens instead is much weirder. And much more normal. You get invited to something.
Maybe it’s a free seminar on self-growth. Maybe it’s an improv workshop. Maybe it’s a yoga retreat with weirdly intense hugs. And you go. Because why not? It’s just one night. Just a little curiosity. Just a little openness. Just a little… vulnerability.
And that’s exactly where they want you.
Step One: The Soft Sell
No cult shows you the basement on day one. What you get is a party. Or a creative space. Or a seminar that promises to unlock the parts of you that feel stuck. It’s positive. Friendly. Lit in flattering lighting. And everyone seems to really get you.
They laugh at your jokes. They remember your name. They say things like “You seem special” with such quiet confidence that it almost makes you forget you just met them 14 minutes ago.
This is called love-bombing, and it’s as manipulative as it is effective. In another context, it would be called dating. Or a high-end spa sales pitch.
Step Two: The Prize
Next, they dangle the golden carrot: The Prize. That thing you’ve been chasing. Happiness. Purpose. Sobriety. Clarity. Financial freedom. The ability to finally be okay inside your own skin.
They don’t hand it to you. They just suggest that they know the way. And all the smiling, spiritually well-moisturized people around you seem to be proof that the thing works.
So when they ask, “Wouldn’t you like that too?” it’s easy to nod.
What you don’t realize is that nod is a hook. Because now, it’s not their idea. It’s yours. And people will do a lot of illogical, expensive, and even harmful things to chase down something they think they decided they wanted.
Step Three: The Turn
Now comes the shift. The smiling gets a little tighter. The asks get bigger.
Maybe it’s time. Maybe it’s money. Maybe it’s inviting others. But you’re told—gently, but firmly—that your hesitation means you’re resisting. You’re not ready. You’re standing in your own way.
You want the prize, right? Then stop doubting. Doubt is for losers. Or worse—outsiders.
This is where things get slippery. The language of empowerment is weaponized into coercion. Questions become signs of weakness. Critical thinking becomes “ego.” You’re told that your discomfort is actually growth. That shame is the first step to transformation.
Suddenly, you’re apologizing for things that don’t even make sense.
Step Four: The Trapdoor
Over time, your identity shifts. You start to distance yourself from “negative influences”—which is cult code for your mom, your best friend, or anyone who might say “this seems sketchy.”
You stop watching the news. You stop trusting old instincts. You believe that the group—not your own internal compass—knows what’s best for you.
You’re no longer a person exploring an idea. You are the idea.
The scary part? This doesn’t happen because you’re weak. Or dumb. Or broken. It happens because these groups know exactly how to exploit the most human parts of you: your longing, your loneliness, your hope.
They don’t destroy you. They replace you. One inch at a time.
So How Do You Avoid It?
It starts with this:
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Be suspicious of too much love, too fast.
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Be cautious of anyone who says they have all the answers.
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And most importantly, watch for the moment when the thing that once felt good… starts feeling obligatory.
Because the real trick isn’t that cults are so powerful. It’s that they’re so incremental.
You didn’t join a cult. You just said yes to something that felt good. And then you kept saying yes.
Until you couldn’t say no anymore.