My son is five. A couple of days ago, we were out shopping when we ran into one of my wife’s old high school friends. They started catching up, and at one point, my wife mentioned that we had a son. Her friend asked what his name was, and there was a pause—my wife hesitated. So I answered for her.
That’s when her friend gave us a strange look and said, “You mean like your ex-boyfriend?”
Our son’s name is very unique—I’ve never met anyone else with it. Hearing that made my stomach drop.
Since then, my wife has refused to talk about it. I feel betrayed. Disgusted, even. Something flipped in me, and now I can’t look at her the same way.
You’re not just talking about a name—you’re talking about trust. About meaning. About the foundation you thought you built your family on. And when something shakes that foundation, especially something as personal as your child’s name, it feels like the whole house might collapse.
Let’s be real: It’s not just that she might have named your son after her ex—it’s that she won’t talk to you about it. That silence? That stonewalling? That’s what’s eating at you. Because when someone you’ve trusted with your life suddenly goes quiet on something that matters this much, your brain starts filling in the blanks with the worst-case scenarios.
But before you make any big decisions or label this as betrayal, I need you to slow down.
Do not make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.
You deserve an answer. You’re not crazy for needing to know the truth. And she owes you an honest, clear conversation—not avoidance.
But here’s the other side: you can’t force it. What you can do is tell her, calmly and directly, that this isn’t about being petty or jealous—this is about needing to feel safe in your own marriage. That you’re not looking for a fight; you’re looking for clarity. For respect. For honesty.
And if she won’t have that conversation? Then yes, that becomes a deeper problem than the name itself.
One last thing: take a breath. Don’t let your pain poison your perception of her just yet. Hurt people jump to conclusions. Whole people ask hard questions and wait for the answers.
You’ve got this. But don’t do it alone. Talk to a counselor. Talk to a trusted friend. Get the emotions sorted so you don’t let them control the narrative.
You’re not crazy. You’re hurt. And that’s okay. But now it’s time to decide what to do with that hurt.