I’ve (22m) been dating this girl (24f) for about two months, and things are great when we’re together in person—we get along well and complement each other. But when it comes to texting, it’s pretty rough.
She’s told me she’s not great at texting, and I appreciate her honesty, but it still kind of stings not hearing from her for long stretches. I’m the type who loves those good morning/good night texts and sharing little updates throughout the day, but with her, sometimes it’s a week or more before I get a reply.
Occasionally she’ll text back once a day, but usually it’s just to confirm plans. I know she’s busy, and I feel guilty even wanting to bring it up, but I’ve been feeling pretty lonely because of it.
How do I talk to her about this without coming off as needy?
You’re putting in the effort, but she’s not meeting you anywhere close to halfway. At two months in, you should both be eager to talk—not sitting around waiting weeks for a reply. This isn’t about being “bad at texting.” This is about interest, plain and simple.
Look, when someone’s into you, they find time to reach out. A day goes by? Okay, life happens. But a week? Two weeks? That’s not a communication style—that’s apathy. You’re not even asking to be her number one priority, but you should at least be somewhere on her radar. If she can go days or weeks without talking to you, ask yourself: Are you even her boyfriend, or just a placeholder?
You deserve to feel wanted and chosen, not like you’re bothering someone. It’s easy to make excuses when you really like someone, but don’t confuse her lack of engagement for some quirky “bad texter” trait. If she was truly interested, she’d let you know it—consistently.
So here’s what you do: Have an honest conversation and lay your cards on the table. If she steps up, great. If not, believe her actions. Don’t hang on to a relationship that only exists in your head. You deserve someone who’s actually excited to talk to you—not someone you have to chase down for crumbs of attention.