Hello, I (32F) have the opportunity to go on a international vacation on my own. I have travel credits I need to use and going on a solo vacation has always been on my to-do list. I am also a mom of 2 and my husband (36M) is encouraging it.
I just recently found out my friend (30M) will be also doing a solo trip and going to see a concert where I was wanting to go. I think it would be awesome if I could fly with him there, see the show and then part ways.
I talked to my husband and he is okay with it although I’m worried about what other people will think, especially my in laws and my parents “why would she go on vacation with another man?!” But I don’t want to have to explain myself over and over.
Input on whether this is appropriate?
Let’s just call this what it is—a terrible idea. You wanted a solo trip, something for you, maybe to clear your head, hit reset, whatever. But now suddenly a male friend is doing a similar trip, and your solo plans magically get thrown out the window? That’s not an accident, that’s a choice. And it’s the kind of choice that torpedoes trust in a marriage, whether you mean for it to or not.
It doesn’t matter how “innocent” you say it is. This is exactly how messes start: by rationalizing little boundary pushes and convincing yourself that “other people just wouldn’t get it.” You don’t want to explain it to your in-laws and parents? You know why? Because you know it looks bad. Because deep down, even you think it’s sketchy. Your gut is screaming, but you want to call it “freedom” or “adventure.”
Here’s the cold truth: If you wouldn’t be okay with your husband doing this exact thing—flying out with a woman, seeing a show, and then “parting ways”—then don’t do it yourself. Double standards destroy marriages. And trust? Once it’s gone, good luck getting it back.
So ask yourself, honestly: Are you really wanting a solo trip, or just a pass to do something you already know crosses a line? If you value your marriage, protect it like it matters. And if you still need a vacation, go alone. That’s what you set out to do in the first place. Don’t blow up your life for a concert and a travel buddy.