I’m 27 now, and I keep replaying all the cringey things I did in my early twenties. I’m talking about getting too drunk, making a fool of myself, and honestly just not being the best friend or version of myself. It feels like I have to learn everything the hard way.
Sometimes I said or did embarrassing things. Sometimes I drank too much at work events. Sometimes I was just plain annoying to be around at night. Looking back, it makes me cringe.
The thing is, I’m actually proud of who I am now. All those mistakes shaped me into the person I am today. But I still have trouble forgiving my younger self. I keep wondering—how did I not know better?
Every single one of us has moments from our past that make us want to crawl under a rock and hide. If you’re a human being with a pulse, you’ve got some “cringe” in your rearview mirror. That’s the deal.
But here’s what stands out to me—you’re proud of who you are now. That’s not nothing. In fact, that’s everything. You’ve done the hard work of growing up. You’ve wrestled with the messy parts of your story, you’ve taken a good look at the person in the mirror, and you’ve decided to get better. That’s what maturity looks like.
You ask, “How did I not know better?” The answer is simple: you were young, and you hadn’t learned those lessons yet. Some lessons you only learn by falling flat on your face and picking yourself up again. That doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.
I want you to try something: start talking to your younger self the way you’d talk to a younger sibling or a friend you love. You wouldn’t beat them up over old mistakes—you’d say, “Hey, you didn’t know. You were figuring it out. You’re doing better now.” Give yourself that same grace. You can be grateful for the person you’ve become and still hold your younger self with compassion.
Here’s the truth: regret can be a good teacher, but it’s a terrible roommate. Let it remind you where you came from, but don’t let it move in and set up shop in your mind. You’re allowed to move forward. You’re allowed to be proud. You’re allowed to forgive yourself.
You’re not your past. You’re who you choose to become, starting today. And you’re worth that forgiveness.