I never planned on being a stripper. It started with modeling gigs and chasing whatever jobs would pay the bills. Somebody told me I had the right look and suggested I try stripping, and honestly, the money was better and the attention was addicting in its own way. At first, you get some basic training—how to move, how to read a crowd, how to keep things fun and sexy without crossing lines that’ll get you thrown out. But over time, you realize there aren’t really any hard lines at all, especially once you step out of the club and into private parties.
This last summer, I worked more than 15 bachelorette parties. Every single one, no matter how innocent it starts, always seems to take a turn. I’ve never left one of these gigs without something sexual happening with the bride or her friends. People always want to know what “cheating” means in this context. Is it cheating if she’s just touching me, groping, kissing, licking cream or chocolate off me in front of her friends? Is it cheating if she jerks me off or gives a blowjob, but never goes all the way? If you ask me, or most people with a shred of honesty, yeah, it’s still cheating. But the way it happens, it’s like it doesn’t feel as real to them. There’s a sense of “it’s just one night, it’s just a stripper, it’s not like I slept with him.” Some of them do actually go all the way, but that’s rare. Blowjobs are common—like, 65% of the time. Full-on sex? Maybe 15% of the parties, if I’m honest. It’s not about pleasure for them. It’s about being wild for a night, showing off in front of their friends, maybe proving something to themselves before they get married.
It almost always starts out in front of everyone. Sometimes a group will get wild together, other times a friend will hype the bride into crossing a line she swore she never would. Peer pressure is real, and you’d be surprised how quickly boundaries can dissolve when everyone’s drinking, laughing, and egging each other on. Every so often, things move to a private room. That’s usually where anything more than touching happens, but not always. Some girls want their friends to watch. Sometimes it feels like a contest—who can be the wildest, who can get the best story before they settle down.
People ask me if I feel guilty. The honest answer? Sometimes. I don’t initiate it—ever. I’m there to dance and put on a show, but I’m not going to pretend I’m a saint either. When I see a woman with a wedding ring on, doing something she’d never want her fiancé to know about, I get this weird mix of feeling bad for the guy and also caught up in the heat of the moment. It’s hot and it’s wrong and that’s the truth. Still, I tell myself I’m just the entertainment—they’re the ones making choices about their relationships, not me.
I’ve met all types—thin, fat, white, black, you name it. Most of the women I hook up with at these parties are chubby white girls, just statistically. There are always one or two who are really bold and don’t care who’s watching. Others only go along after enough encouragement, or after enough drinks. Sometimes the bride gets more attention, sometimes it’s her friends. Sometimes, yeah, I end up with more than one in a night. The thing is, the same people who judge this stuff never see what really happens. People have this “sugar and spice” image of women, but I’m telling you, at these parties, the rules are different. Humans are humans—guys cheat, women cheat. Doesn’t matter what they say in public.
Do I ever worry about what this job does to my view of women, or relationships? Early on, yeah, it messed with my head. Made me paranoid. But then you realize it’s just a slice of reality, not the whole pie. Most women aren’t out there doing this stuff—just the ones who want to hire strippers for their bachelorette parties, which is already a self-selecting group. I still believe if I ever get married, it’ll be to someone I trust. That’s the only way it could work. I wouldn’t want my future wife doing what I see at these parties, but if I trust her, that’s all I’ve got.
The money’s good, but the job has its downsides. It’s hard to have a normal relationship. Most girls are not cool with their boyfriend being a stripper, and it’s even harder if they know what really goes on. Sometimes you need a little pharmaceutical help to keep up with the expectations—yeah, I’ve got a prescription for that. The parties blur together after a while. I’m paid per gig at the parties and also get paid per dance and tips at the club.
In the end, I know people are going to judge, but I’m just giving my point of view. I’m not saying men are any better. I see it for what it is: a bunch of people, having fun, sometimes crossing lines, sometimes regretting it, sometimes not. I don’t think about it too much anymore. I just show up, do my job, and let everyone else worry about what it means.