My son (19m) bragged to another family member about stealing a pair of expensive boots. He said he took of his old ones, put them on the shelf and walked out with the new ones on his feet.
Worst part is my son called to tell me how exited he was that someone “gave him” a nice pair of boots, and told me a whole story about it. I was asked not to say I was told by the family member who told me. I know I cant do much, but am just looking for some advice or even just your thoughts. I feel so disappointed.
You’re disappointed—and you should be. When your son brags about stealing, it doesn’t just make you angry, it cuts deep because you know he’s capable of so much better. At 19, he’s in that dangerous in-between where rebellion feels like strength, and shortcuts feel like cleverness. But the truth is, stealing doesn’t make him powerful. It makes him weak.
The key here isn’t just to scold or lecture. He’s an adult now, and lectures bounce right off at that age. What can cut through is helping him connect his actions with their weight. Sometimes the most powerful way to teach is not to corner him with accusations, but to hold up a mirror. Ask him questions that force him to sit with what he’s done: How would you feel if someone stole something you worked for? What kind of world do we live in if everyone just takes what isn’t theirs? Let him wrestle with those thoughts instead of giving him an easy out to defend himself.
It’s not about humiliating him, it’s about awakening his conscience. Help him see that true strength isn’t rebellion—it’s restraint. It’s building something with your own hands and being able to look people in the eye without shame. You can’t control him anymore, but you can make it clear where you stand: you condemn the theft, not him. And then you let him carry the weight of his choices.