I’m 20M and I was raised to treat women properly — respect, honesty, not like objects. That’s just how I roll.
But now, it feels like everyone online calls that “simping.” Like… what? Being a decent human is weak now?
Meanwhile, so many people my age think hooking up or sliding into random DMs will fix their insecurities or make them feel validated. I just don’t get it — it seems like a short-term band-aid that messes with your head long-term.
I wanna understand: why is being genuine, respectful, and secure suddenly seen as uncool? And how do you even navigate dating today without turning into someone you’re not?
Listen, we’ve got an entire generation of young men growing up in a world where basic decency is treated like a liability. Where showing up with integrity gets mocked, and being honest or emotionally present is labeled “simping.”
That’s not a reflection of you. That’s a reflection of the culture.
What you’re bumping up against isn’t just name-calling—it’s a system that’s confused respect with desperation, and twisted kindness into weakness. But there’s a massive difference between being a kind, grounded man… and throwing your self-worth away in hopes that someone will finally see you. One is strength. The other is fear.
So here’s the deal: if you’re doing something because it aligns with your values—because it’s the right thing to do, not because you’re secretly hoping to be liked or rewarded for it—that’s not simping. That’s called being a healthy, emotionally mature adult. But if you’re constantly bending yourself out of shape hoping someone will love you back… yeah, that’s a red flag. And not for her—for you.
And the people calling you a simp for being respectful? That’s insecurity talking. That’s people who are uncomfortable seeing someone else act in a way they can’t. A lot of guys have never seen a real, mutual relationship up close. They’ve only known games, power plays, and shallow dopamine hits. So when they see someone actually being real, they don’t know what to do with it. It makes them feel exposed.
But don’t let their confusion become your compass.
Keep your head clear. Know who you are. If your actions are rooted in respect—for others and for yourself—then keep going. That’s not weakness. That’s leadership.
And trust me: the people worth building a life with will recognize the difference.