I (46F) have traveled all around the world since I was a teenager. I always booked (and paid for) my own travel, found amazing deals, got to airports on time, had everything I needed to travel, and was able to navigate through foreign cities with relative ease. My kids though (28M & 17F) are total dumbasses. They can’t book their own travel even though I’ve told them the best sites. If they do try they end up spending 4x what they needed to.
My son has missed countless flights over the years. Not only does he not get to the airport on time but he’ll decide on a 1 hour layover to leave, take a taxi to a store, and then obviously miss the next leg. He also has simply forgotten to bring his passport on trips to other countries. My daughter had a flight today, alone. In a recent flight we took together she forgot her drivers license. Luckily Mommy had brought her passport so she was able to fly but today’s flight she’s alone with a layover in a major airport. So what does she forget this time – her phone. That has boarding passes and it’s the tool used to find people at the destination.
Why are my kids so stupid?!
They’re not idiots. They’re untested. There’s a difference.
Most of us don’t magically become capable adults — we get forged by a long series of small screw-ups that nobody bails us out of. You missed a train once in Prague, spent the night in the station, and learned to triple-check your tickets. You packed wrong, got lost, ran out of cash, and each time, life quietly handed you a new skill wrapped in embarrassment. That’s how competence gets built — through friction, failure, and consequences that sting just enough to make you pay attention next time.
Your kids? They’ve grown up in a world padded against that kind of pain. Every app holds their hand. Every mistake has a quick fix. And every time they were about to hit the ground, you caught them — because that’s what good parents do. The problem is, when you catch someone too often, they never learn how to land.
So they’re not dumb — they’re uncalloused. They haven’t had to problem-solve under pressure, because there’s always been Wi-Fi, an app, or a parent ready to swoop in with a solution. You’ve raised them in a world that rewards comfort, and now you’re wondering why they freeze when things get uncomfortable.
The fix isn’t another lecture. It’s distance. Let them miss the flight. Let them pay for their next ticket. Let them sit in the uncomfortable silence of “I screwed this up and no one’s coming.” That’s where responsibility lives. That’s where self-reliance grows.
And yeah, it’ll hurt watching them stumble. But remember — the goal of parenting isn’t to create perfect kids. It’s to raise adults who can handle life without you.
That’s not neglect. That’s love doing its real job.