1)
I pretty much had and out of body experience. I found out by reading her emails, it’s the only time I felt my soul float out of my body, and I saw myself reading the email. It was like you see in the movies.
I didn’t stay with her, and still It took me about a year to get to the place where I was surprised that I hadn’t thought about her in a while. Hardest year of my life. I was 100% healed when I actually fell in love with my now wife. That is because it’s the love that gives it it’s power. Once I fell in love with my wife, I no longer had any emotion about my ex and she just became someone in my past who did something very wrong to me, but there was no emotional connection to it.
That being said, I don’t really think you can heal 100% if you stay together. At least from what I can tell reading these sites. That is because your trigger is still the primary person in your life. I think it’s unrealistic to think you will fully recover in those cases. Unless you completely detach, and usually at that point the betrayed partner is ready to leave anyway. I think if you stay together you mostly just learn to live with it.
2)
I’d describe your experience as intense disassociation
3)
My first husband died in a private plane crash and I have been kidnapped in another country (for 3 days), being cheated has been worse!
4)
I felt a bit “light”. Like i was in my body, but my legs felt weak. My head felt lightheaded but I wasnt dizzy. I was at lost. I kept pacing back and forth, recognizing i was anxious… I sat down. I was calm for at most 5 seconds. Then immediate anger. I knew I was angry. But this was rage. I kept saying “I’m going to throw the table over. I want to throw it down”. I kept trying to sit. But my body took control of my mind and heart. I chose violence. I threw over the table. And destroyed all of our journals and books we shared and read to each other. I broke the vase that held the flowers I gave her. I threw it in the trash. I knew she loved her coffee, so i emptied the bottle of creamer in the fridge. I made the place a mess. Then i cleaned it up. Dont be like me. Yes i now know i need to go back to my emotional regulation skills.
The first time i got cheated on (different partner years ago). She never admitted it. Just ghosted me. And when i showed up at her job for answers, she told me finally. And broke up with me. I was just sad. Down. Quiet. I didnt hate her. I hated myself.
5)
An anger and rage like I’ve never felt before.
6)
I was in absolute shock when he told me (on the 13th of this month, it’s still very fresh so please be gentle). I didn’t even cry at first, I feel like my heart just dropped into my stomach. then came the sobs when I started frantically asking questions like “why, who, when”. I was having a full blown panic attack and sobs when I realized our future plans were no longer going to happen and that he wasn’t the person I thought he was. it’s been so difficult to get out of bed today. I barely ate. only 2 days post no-contact so everything is extremely difficult. I feel so stupid for even considering getting back with him. but I have a fear that there’s no one else out there for me.
7)
When I found out that my now ex was cheating, I blanked and couldn’t even speak. Every muscle in my body tensed and breathing became nearly impossible. Definitely the worst feeling ever.
I left. Barely said a word and moved on. I didn’t even think about dating for 3 years… now I’m with a great guy but still have trust issues. I can’t imagine staying with someone that cheats. I don’t judge but I do know it does get easier after you leave.
8)
I physically got shakey, lightheaded, and nauseous. I think I then said WTF like 1000 times at various volumes with some crying mixed in. For context: I found out my “straight” boyfriend was hooking up with random men.
I don’t think it’s impossible to heal, therapy would probably help. I’m sorry this happened to you.
9)
There are no words to describe the pain once the shock wears off. There just simply are no words. It is a deep inner soul crushing pain that chokes the life out of you and it never goes away. You can’t run from it, you can’t hide from it, you can numb it with drugs or alcohol and you can’t cry enough tears.
It takes years to heal the betrayal trauma and it’s very hard work. It brings you to sinking levels that you never knew existed. I’m 18 months past DDay and it took psychedelics to pull me out of the vortex I was stuck in.
10)
Humiliated, sad, angry, felt robbed of a future, robbed of time I wasted on this person. Couldn’t function, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat. Went crazy with restlessness. Became a jumpy, nervous wreck. Everything hurt all the time.
I can’t put a time limit on it. It’s been a couple years and I’m with someone new, but I feel it there. Like a hypervigilance lurking somewhere in me. I don’t care about ex in the least not do I think about her it’s more like I fear the risk of going full in with someone when I know it can all disappear in seconds.
11)
All I said to her was “brutal”. Thats all I could say. Just in complete denial for a few weeks.
Two months after I still have dreams about our past, what could have been if she didnt cheat.
12)
It felt like my world and reality turned into a different world…nothing had changed really but everything did everything feels tainted and he did it.
I felt initially sick, threw up a lot and often still do from thinking about it. I was devastated and felt like i was falling forever, angry like so mad I saw red and wanted to burn the world down, then really sad and cried all the time. My self esteem is awful, zero sex drive. Feel bad for myself, then angry at myself for not seeing it sooner and my lack of judge of character. Then, sometimes, I feel empowered and hopeful for my new future.
I don’t really cry anymore, I’m just numb and dissociate a lot. I feel like I’m drifting through life a lot and don’t really care about anything. I try to get out everyday and go see friends even when I don’t want to. I’m not out of the trauma at all. Certain things don’t trigger me as much anymore but idk if that’s because I’m so numb. I’m starting EMDR therapy, I did one session so far and feel it has lessened the emotional response I have to a particular memory with his AP. I don’t think l will ever fully be over it but will hopefully be a better and stronger person at some point.
13)
I felt really lightheaded. There was a moment of disbelief…like I couldn’t really believe the words I was reading. My heart just dropped. Married for 28 years, and he was only loyal to me for just the first year. I had no clue.
14)
I was with my ex-husband for 10 years and found out that the last 2 of those 10 he had been cheating on me. It crushed me, it made me feel all the emotions I could possibly feel all at one time. I didn’t know how to respond or what to think. It was like my feelings were changing every 5 minutes, I would go from mad, to upset, to jealous, to forgiving, begging him to come back, and then wanting to never see him again. It’s been almost 6 months and the pain hasn’t lessened, I’ve only learned how to cope with it better than I did.
15)
It felt like someone very close to me had died. I had what could closely be described as a mental/nervous breakdown. Couldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep.
I’m not sure you ever really heal from it, it’s just a pain you learn to live with.