1. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now and I love her a lot, but I don’t think I can see us getting married. I would love to get married but I just don’t think she’s the one.
We have lots of good times but we also argue a lot. We have different core values which doesn’t help cause I feel like I can never voice my public opinion to her.
I also like to have a life of my own sometimes, but it feels like she always has to be next to me. She’s very stubborn and ALWAYS argues over something stupid which is really getting to me.
I feel like things always have to be done her way instead of us working together on things or occasionally letting me have my way.
I’ve constantly brought up problems that I have with her and she claims she’s trying to fix them but even after a couple years nothing has changed much.
Now I do have great times with her and I love her a lot, but I just don’t know if i could ever marry her.
2. Im currently in almost a 2 year relationship with an amazing girl that I’m incredibly in love with and I wanna be with for the time being, but in the back of my head I’ve always figured we won’t be together in the late future or end up getting married because of things she’s done in the past, and everytime I imagine my future, I imagine being with the girl I was in love with the summer before I started college.
My girlfriend has done a lot of things in the past that have hurt me, none of them being cheating or any absolute deal breakers but they have all been things that hurt me deeply and I haven’t been able to completely get over them, I also don’t agree with her families political and social views at all and they’re actually extremist to a point where I can’t bring myself to like them, and I feel our lives will be moving at different speeds once we leave college because we are in completely different career paths.
The girl I imagine myself with, I have seen myself marrying since long before I was with my girlfriend. She has the most incredible family that loves me, has always been there in any way I needed her to be and helped me through issues with my currently girlfriend, we’re currently on the same career path, and she’s still one of my best friends to this day and I’m fairly confident that part of her wants to be with me at some point in the future as we had talked about it multiple times before college.
We were both in love with each other senior year of high school and we told each other but we never did anything about it in fear of losing each other’s friendships that we valued too highly as we knew neither of us were in the right space to be with each other.
She was not my first love, she was never my girlfriend nor did we ever have sex, but I view her as my soulmate. I have no intention of cheating on my girlfriend or even breaking up with her to be with the other girl, but I feel like years after we breakup, me and the other girl will end up together.
3. All our friends have gotten married or engaged. She’s said she wants to get married, have kids. All eyes are now on me.
I haven’t been in too many serious relationships, and I’m old enough to know that no partner will be perfect. But I find myself wondering, how do I know?
I don’t trust myself to make such a big decision, basically. I don’t feel like I have enough wisdom or enough information to play dice with the next several decades of my life.
I imagine we’d be pretty happy. We get along fine, communicate well, we’ve built a beautiful home together, have an adorable dog. She has a good sense of humor, and we laugh a lot. We are pretty good at co-managing the household finances.
There are downsides, of course. Our intellectual interests are pretty different. Sex isn’t great, never has been, and that makes me pretty sad.
She can be kind of selfish, and gets angry and defensive when I bring up problems I’m having, so I kind of shy away from doing so. There are also less romantic concerns:
She has a ton of college debt, about equal to what I’ve saved up. Alcoholism runs in both our families and that scares the shit out of me (neither one of us struggle with it right now, but I can see the tendencies, and worry about what happens with kids).
We could probably putter along forever, and be pretty happy, I’d bet. She’s said she’s worried about her biological clock and I don’t want to be a coward who ruins her chance at kids by waiting and waiting and then backing out.
I also don’t want to miss out on a great life and a great relationship because I was scared to take the plunge (either with her, or with someone else).
4. I guess I should start with some background. Me and my gf have been dating for almost 4 years. I am 25 and so is she.
Recently things have been kinda rough. She thinks little mistakes somehow will piss me off, we don’t really connect and I think she feels it and gives her anxiety. Usually with stuff like this we work through but recently we reached a block.
Her older sister got married at a young age (19) and is now 27 still married and with 3 kids. From time to time I get a feeling from my girlfriend that thats what she wants out of life (get married and have kids), but I want her to get a career before we have kids (she worked so hard in her degree).
I do not want to marry as I come from divorced parents and its just simply something I don’t want to do.
Recently her younger sister (22) got engaged and is getting married in 2 months to some guy shes only been dating for a year and it has turned my world upside down. My gf refuses to be happy for her younger sister and has been bashing her all week, shes not even going to help her pick out the dress (apparently this is huge in her family as girls run in the family and its almost a tradition).
To add more background I have a good relationship with her parents and I do love her but I simply don’t see myself getting married I have other priorities in life like buying a house and my career.
We have a 2 dogs together and my parents love her and I go to all the family events and try to do my part as a good boyfriend but im at the end of the line and don’t know what to do.
5. There are a couple of things I could say but first off, I love my gf. We have been dating for 3 years. The highs are really good and I have no complaints. I don’t want this “rant” to make it seem like I don’t love her. But I don’t think I want to marry her.
She is boring. All she wants to do is watch tv all day and really do nothing else. I am someone that likes to be active either outside or even just keep my mind active by playing video games or working on programming projects. She always complains she is “fat” even though I love her the way she is and I tell her all the time. But she continues to complain but doesn’t do anything to change it and it drives me crazy. I try my best to encourage her but none of it works. I’ve tried taking her to dinners so she can dress up, I’ve taken her to parties where she can let loose and still nothing and idk what to do.
This leads to her being boring in bed. She never wants to try anything new or even just talk about trying new things hypothetically speaking. Even if she say something she don’t mean in the heat of the moment, thats enough to get me off; however, I get nothing from her side. Since the sex life between me and her is so boring I tried helping her fulfill one of her fantasies of being in a threesome with another girl. BUT I know how she operates and even if she says she wants a threesome, I know in the back of my mind that would’ve had detrimental applications to our relationship. So instead (wit her consent) I had a female friend of mine tell my gf that she would be willing to help her fulfill the fantasy and my gf backed out at the last minute.
My gf likes to blame our lack of sex on me by saying since I don’t watch tv with her and I am always playing the game or in my office, she doesn’t see me. That somewhat annoys me because she knows I have never been a fan of someone who can sit down and do anything for more than 4 hours just sitting there. It drives me insane. I always invite her to come sit with me while I play the game or while I’m in the office but she always declines. I always compromise and watch tv with her but she usually falls asleep around 8pm. So after I take her to bed, thats usually when I do the things I want to do.
Idk what to do. I’ve had a plan for about a year know for me to propose to her in September of this year but I am just having major second thoughts because I just want her to be more lively. She doesn’t act depressed (which I understand sometimes depression doesn’t have signs). It just really doesn’t seem as though she is depressed. I try having deep level conversations with her but she usually gets mad if I say something she doesn’t want to hear and she shuts down. I am just lost right now and don’t know what to do. She is a loving and caring woman but I just don’t know if this is the one for me. Am I overreacting or is there really a problem?