I’ve been casually seeing this guy for about six times now, and I’m starting to feel uncomfortable. Only the first time we met, we did something other than sex. After that, every single time has just been sex and nothing else.
I know he probably doesn’t like me that much, but I still expect him to treat me like a friend at least. I don’t want a serious relationship with him. At the time before last, I asked him if we could do something other than sex, and he said, “Like what?” I told him, “Anything”. But last time we only had sex so nothing changed…
What hurts more is that when he comes over, that’s literally all we do. We barely talk. He comes in, makes a small comment at the door, hugs me, then we go straight to the bed. After sex we cuddle, but he just closes his eyes and doesn’t say a single word.
Is this a sign he hates me or just doesn’t care?
The last three times I tried to start conversations with him. When I talk, he opens his eyes but doesn’t look at me…He stares at the wall. I asked him once if he was always this sleepy and he said he wakes up early. I told him, “talk to me,” and he said, “About what?” I said, “Anything.” He replied, “You can’t force it,” and gave me an awkward smile.
You already know what’s happening here. You’re not in a situationship, you’re not friends with benefits, and you’re not building anything meaningful. You’re a body he visits. That’s it. And the fact that you’re writing this out tells me you don’t want to admit it to yourself.
When a grown adult walks into your home, barely speaks to you, has sex, then shuts his eyes and stares at a wall when you talk, he’s not shy, tired, or awkward. He’s disengaged. He doesn’t care. And you’re trying to manufacture intimacy out of thin air.
You asked for more. You literally said, “Anything.” And he couldn’t even be bothered to put in a tiny amount of effort. That awkward smile and “you can’t force it” wasn’t humility, it was dismissal. He’s telling you without saying the words: “I’m here for sex and nothing else.”
And you’re ignoring him because the scraps he gives you feel better than being alone.
Hear this: connection without conversation isn’t connection. Cuddling silently isn’t intimacy. A man laying next to you with his eyes closed while you’re talking might as well be a mannequin. You’re not being valued. You’re being used. And you’re participating in your own loneliness.
This isn’t a sign he hates you, it’s a sign he doesn’t think about you at all. That’s not cruelty; that’s indifference. And indifference is the loudest answer you’ll ever get.
You deserve someone who actually shows up, who asks you questions, laughs with you, talks to you, sees you. Not someone who treats your bedroom like a drive through.
It’s time to stop hoping crumbs turn into a meal. They won’t.
End it. Block his number if you have to. Go build the life and relationships you actually want. Being alone is a thousand times better than lying next to someone who makes you feel invisible.