My boyfriend and I have only been together for three months, and now he’s getting kicked out of his parents’ house because they think he drinks too much. I feel like he’s hinting that he wants to move in with me, but we haven’t been together long enough for me to feel comfortable with that—especially since we’ve already had arguments about money.
I live alone, work multiple jobs, and go to school full-time just to cover my bills. I have to live very minimally and frugally. He says he’s frugal too, but he constantly spends money on things he “needs,” then complains about paying for my food when we go out.
For example, today he bought another pair of boots because he’s “been wanting them for a while.” Last week he bought a new jacket because he needed one with a different lining. It’s always something. Meanwhile, he gets stressed about buying me a snack wrap at McDonald’s.
I don’t know how to make him understand that there’s no way he can afford to live on his own with his current spending habits—and if he’s worried about buying me cheap fast food, I can’t imagine trying to split actual bills like rent with him.
Do not let this man move in with you.
He is 31 years old and still doesn’t have a handle on his drinking, his money, or his life. That’s not “a rough patch.” That’s a pattern. And if you let him move in, that pattern becomes your daily reality.
I am going to say this again because it matters: Do. Not. Let. Him. Move. In.
You are not his mother. You are not his safety net. You are not responsible for raising a grown man who refuses to grow up. Let him deal with the consequences of his decisions. That is how adults learn.
And look, I want to be kind, but I also want to be honest: He is not a good partner for you. Not now. Probably not later.
You are out here working multiple jobs, going to school full-time, grinding to build a stable life. Meanwhile, he is buying boots and jackets he “needs,” getting stressed over buying you a snack wrap, and waiting for someone — you — to rescue him from his own mess.
You are a hardworking, responsible woman. You are a catch. And you deserve someone who shows up as an adult, not someone you have to drag through life like emotional luggage.
A 31-year-old who is fine living with his parents in a culture where that is not the norm, who cannot manage his money, who drinks enough to get kicked out, who hints at moving in after three months? That is not husband material. That is not partnership material. That is dead weight.
If his own parents are telling him he drinks too much, imagine what that becomes when he is under your roof. His consequences will quickly become your crisis.
Three months is nothing. You do not even know this man yet — not the real version, the everyday one. And what you have seen is enough to know you should cut this loose right now.
Protect your home. Protect your sanity. Protect your future.
Run while you still can.