To be fully transparent, my best friend and I didn’t always get along. We hated each other once upon a time, and it was over a girl that we were both trying to go out with. Years later we squashed it and became best friends, and I would say we trust each other very well.
Recently while we were seshing, his girlfriend made a couple of comments to me like, “He’s lucky I didn’t meet you first,” and some other stuff about how lucky my girls are. She also touched me on the leg a couple of times while she was saying it.
Idk if I should tell him because of the past issues we’ve had over women. What should I do?
You already know what to do.
This crossed a line. The comments and the leg touching weren’t harmless, and pretending they were will only make things worse later.
You need to tell your friend. Not to stir drama but to protect the friendship and your own integrity.
Do not sugarcoat it. Do not speculate about her intentions. Stick to the facts and say it once, calmly:
“Hey man, I care about you and I respect our friendship, so I need to tell you something uncomfortable. Your girlfriend made comments toward me and touched my leg. I shut it down, but I didn’t want you hearing it from someone else.”
That’s it.
If he gets defensive, that’s his emotion to work through. Your job isn’t to manage his reaction. Your job is to be honest.
Silence feels easier right now, but silence always comes due with interest. Telling him early is how you keep this from turning into something bigger.
Hard conversations don’t ruin real friendships. Avoiding them does.