I regularly visit a strip club in my area and for the past few months, I’ve been seeing one particular dancer, “Amber” (not her real name). In addition to tipping her and getting dances I buy Amber at least one drink every shift. She always requests the same thing – a screwdriver made with a certain brand of vodka.
Last night, I went in and Amber sat with me as usual. I ordered Amber’s drink from the bartender and got one for myself as well. But when I sipped it I didn’t taste any alcohol at all despite having seen the bartender pour from the same bottle she used to make Amber’s drink. Amber excused herself to freshen up and after the bartender walked away I grabbed the bottle and poured some into the empty glass. As I suspected, it wasn’t vodka, it was plain WATER.
When Amber came back I asked if we could go in the back for a dance. When she sat on my lap I asked her about the fake vodka. I told her I knew it was really water. She tried to tell me it was a one-time thing because she’s visiting her sick grandma tomorrow and doesn’t want to be too hungover. I pressed her and asked her if she’d been getting water shots the entire time we’ve been seeing each other. She finally admitted that she’s a Mormon and doesn’t drink alcohol at all. I admit that I got pretty upset about how she lied, so she called a bouncer and I got kicked out.
When I tried to go back I was told that I’ve been permanently barred from the club. I told him I wanted to speak to a manager and he threatened to “kick [my] ass into next fucking week” if I didn’t leave.
I went home and called the club, and the manager answered. I told him I was basically frauded and that I wouldn’t demand my money back for the aborted lap dance, BUT I wanted a refund on every drink I was tricked into buying for Amber. I’ve been seeing her every Friday and Saturday plus a few other weeknights from time to time. So even assuming I only bought her two drinks on Friday and Saturdays, that puts me at 2 drinks * 2 nights a week * 20 weeks = 80 drinks. Every screwdriver is $12 so that puts me at $960 spent on nothing but orange juice and water. He called me a yutz and hung up, but they haven’t heard the end of this.
You weren’t defrauded. You paid for a drink — and she got the drink she wanted.
Think about what you’re actually upset about: someone was less intoxicated than you expected. Sit with that. You’re angry she wasn’t drinking alcohol because it broke the fantasy in your head. That’s not a legal issue. That’s a personal one.
And let’s clear something up — this is how strip clubs work. Everywhere. Always. This isn’t some new or innovative scam. Clubs sell fantasy, attention, and an experience. Performers manage their behavior however they want while you pay for the illusion. That’s been the deal for as long as strip clubs have existed.
You didn’t buy vodka. You bought the idea of connection — shared drinks, shared energy, feeling special. When reality didn’t match your expectations, you demanded a refund like the universe owed you authenticity in a transactional setting.
But being upset that a woman wasn’t as drunk as you thought she was? That’s creepy territory. You’re angry someone kept more control over themselves than you preferred. That should raise some questions about your mindset.
The real issue isn’t the $960. It’s that you tried to buy intimacy and felt betrayed when the fantasy cracked.
Hard truth:
- Stop trying to purchase connection.
- Stop confusing paid attention with genuine interest.
- Stop blaming others when your expectations don’t match reality.
You didn’t get scammed. You got a reality check. Learn from it and move on.