My friend gets jealous of me very easily. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around her every time I see her.
When she got angry, she would give others the silent treatment for however long she felt like it. It could be days, weeks, months or even years. She and I were talking about music. She got angry and jealous that I mentioned I have 2 electric guitars. I did not know that was going to be such a sensitive topic for her. She stopped talking to me for a year after that. She did not explain why she went silent.
I started a Youtube channel and its off to a good start. When she and I talked about what we had going on in our lives, I mentioned my Youtube page. She got angry that I mentioned my YouTube channel as well. I also had no idea that would be such a difficult topic for her.
After all the drama, she ended the friendship over text without giving an explanation. One day I thought I’d reach out. Come to find out she ended the friendship.
This isn’t a jealousy problem. This is a maturity problem.
Adults don’t disappear for a year because someone owns two guitars. Adults don’t shut down for months because a friend starts a YouTube channel. That’s not sensitivity. That’s emotional manipulation.
The silent treatment for days, weeks, or years is not conflict resolution. It’s punishment. It’s a control move. “You made me feel small, so I’m going to make you feel anxious and confused.” That’s not friendship.
And the fact that you feel like you have to walk on eggshells tells me everything I need to know. Healthy friendships don’t require you to shrink. You shouldn’t have to dim your light, downplay your wins, or filter your life so someone else doesn’t spiral.
Here’s the hard truth: she’s insecure. Deeply. And instead of dealing with it, she projects it onto you. Your success feels like her failure. Your hobbies feel like competition. So she punishes you.
You didn’t lose a healthy friend. You lost a volatile one.
Now here’s the part you need to hear. Stop chasing closure from people who won’t communicate. She ended it over text and gave no explanation. That’s your explanation. She doesn’t have the emotional capacity for an adult friendship.
Let her go.
Grieve it if you need to. But don’t go back to walking on eggshells just to keep someone in your life who can’t celebrate you.
Real friends clap when you win. They don’t disappear.