My husband is planning a world tour with his friend. It would be his first time doing something like this. We have three young kids, ages 8, 5, and 2, and I would be home with them while he travels.
He says he doesn’t want to travel with kids because it’s too hectic, so instead of planning something for us as a family, he wants to do this trip without us. He keeps explaining that he’ll be using points for everything, so he’s not technically spending money on flights or hotels. He wants to fly first class because the points are expiring this year and he wants to experience it.
He also says it’s impossible to find five first class tickets at the same time, and his friend is using his own points for his ticket and accommodations. He doesn’t want to use his points for economy tickets for the family because he feels like that’s a waste. He would rather save them for first class for himself.
So he’s planning this luxury world tour while I stay home taking care of our three kids. I’m really not okay with it. It feels unfair, and honestly, it hurts. I feel unappreciated and dismissed. We’ve argued about it multiple times, but he keeps giving me the same explanation.
This is not about travel points. This is about priorities and respect.
Your husband is choosing a luxury experience for himself over showing up for his family. He’s dressing it up in logic about points and availability, but the core message is simple. He wants this more than he wants to consider how it affects you and your kids.
And you feel it. That’s why it hurts.
You’re not upset because of flights or hotels. You’re upset because you’re being left behind to carry the full weight of the home while he goes off and lives a dream without you. That’s not partnership.
A healthy marriage doesn’t look like one person cashing in a once in a lifetime experience while the other is stuck in survival mode with three young kids.
You need to stop arguing about the details and name the real issue clearly.
Tell him: this makes me feel alone, unsupported, and like I matter less than your trip.
Then set a boundary. Not a threat. A boundary.
Something like: I’m not okay carrying the entire load at home while you take a luxury trip. We need to find a solution that respects both of us, or this is going to damage our marriage.
Because it will.
If he goes anyway, knowing how deeply this affects you, that’s a much bigger problem than a vacation. That’s a signal about how decisions get made in your relationship.
You’re not asking for something unreasonable. You’re asking for partnership, consideration, and shared life.
Right now, he’s acting single.
And that needs to be addressed head on.